I want to preface this anecdote with the caveat that I am not speaking of slash as a genre or slash fans as a group.
I wouldn't have assumed that, so no worries on my account. If fandom has taught me anything, it's that "shippers" come in all stripes and never to assume the gender, orientation or age of anyone based solely on shipping preferences.
There was so much loathing for the female body in her post that it was concerning. Hatred of 'girlie bits' (her words, not mine) is upsetting. No one should loathe a gender's sexuality.
Concerning indeed. That level of self-loathing for one's own body probably reflects a rather horrible upbringing. What has this girl been taught about herself to get to that point? (I begin to wonder if she's been physically and/or verbally abused. Infants and toddlers do not hate their own bodies or themselves, until they've been taught to do so. It's not a natural state of being.
But she's not all that unusual, just extreme, I think. I've known women IRL who adore their gay male friends but lesbians make them queasy; so called "fag hags".(At least one of more of these women gave off a distinctly bisexual vibe even as they loudly proclaimed to anyone who'd listen that they were het. Right.)
I've was a fan of Margaret Cho, but my enthusiasm dropped quite a bit after hearing "jokes" in her routines about how uncomfortable she is with lesbian sex and women's body parts; she said women's private parts "smell" in a way that conveyed disgust, and I pretty much haven't wanted anything to do with her since. Janine garafalo made similar remarks in a routine. The irony to me is that both women have cultivated personas that go against the grain of "acceptable femininity" in terms of appearance, language, activism etc; and both have large gay followings. Cho is especially known for her monologues about her body image, and her support of the gay community.
And the thing is, it doesn't work that way. You don't get to partition the "gay community" into the fun, nonthreatening bits you like (as a "fag hag") and the parts you don't. And again, the notion that she would make jokes about lesbian sex and finding women's genitals loathesome - when she herself has been open about her own body image issues - displays an astonishing lack of self-awareness.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2013-12-06 04:01 am (UTC)I wouldn't have assumed that, so no worries on my account. If fandom has taught me anything, it's that "shippers" come in all stripes and never to assume the gender, orientation or age of anyone based solely on shipping preferences.
There was so much loathing for the female body in her post that it was concerning. Hatred of 'girlie bits' (her words, not mine) is upsetting. No one should loathe a gender's sexuality.
Concerning indeed. That level of self-loathing for one's own body probably reflects a rather horrible upbringing. What has this girl been taught about herself to get to that point? (I begin to wonder if she's been physically and/or verbally abused. Infants and toddlers do not hate their own bodies or themselves, until they've been taught to do so. It's not a natural state of being.
But she's not all that unusual, just extreme, I think. I've known women IRL who adore their gay male friends but lesbians make them queasy; so called "fag hags".(At least one of more of these women gave off a distinctly bisexual vibe even as they loudly proclaimed to anyone who'd listen that they were het. Right.)
I've was a fan of Margaret Cho, but my enthusiasm dropped quite a bit after hearing "jokes" in her routines about how uncomfortable she is with lesbian sex and women's body parts; she said women's private parts "smell" in a way that conveyed disgust, and I pretty much haven't wanted anything to do with her since. Janine garafalo made similar remarks in a routine. The irony to me is that both women have cultivated personas that go against the grain of "acceptable femininity" in terms of appearance, language, activism etc; and both have large gay followings. Cho is especially known for her monologues about her body image, and her support of the gay community.
And the thing is, it doesn't work that way. You don't get to partition the "gay community" into the fun, nonthreatening bits you like (as a "fag hag") and the parts you don't. And again, the notion that she would make jokes about lesbian sex and finding women's genitals loathesome - when she herself has been open about her own body image issues - displays an astonishing lack of self-awareness.