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I have no thoughts (I didn't watch particularly closely last night. But I have fauxVo so I can watch again at a later date. Anyway, though I usually avoid TWOP's recaps for everything but Project Runway (and the Tubby Kid's recap of Days of Our Lives...which they couldn't begin to cover the true horror that Days has become. Not even close, though the recapper tried. It's just there's bad... and then there's UNBELIEVABLY BAD. Days is the second one if you're wondering). Anyway, back to Lost, got to say that I found they recaplet of last night's ep amusing.
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=136&story=8901
Best quotes:
* There are also two books featured in this episode. When I write the recap proper, I will tell you, as I have done with two other featured works of literature, to check out the first word on pages 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, because it forms a sentence that could be a hint. As with the other times I've done this, I will be lying, and I will remind you in the recap that I have lied before and am clearly not to be trusted. And yet, the day after the recap goes up, I will receive email from people wanting to know whether I'm talking hardcover or paperback. Just warning you.
*It's almost like we can't trust these people whose hobbies include kidnapping pregnant women, hanging bass players, and blowing up recreational rafters.
Oh, and in case you're morbidly curious about just how unbelievably awful Days became a year or so ago -- not that it wasn't before or since, just that this is the ep the Days' thread chose to have recapped, the TWOP recap can be found here:
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=56&story=8884&limit=&sort=
Best Quotes:
*I also have to thank the Days watchers for explaining to me the Saga of Very Experienced Charity Rahmer, who plays Belle in this episode, and who apparently lasted on this show only two weeks. Although I was warned that she was awful, OH MY GOD SHE IS AWFUL. I was better in my high-school production of Saint Joan, and I was PLAYING A MAN.
* Anyway, Marlena. She's lying there in her coffin, pathetically sobbing for John Black. I would have been kicking and clawing like hell, but you know. She's been through a lot. She's probably tired. We cut back to the bar, where she says, so very ponderously, "I knew I was buried alive." What tipped you off? Could it have been the fact that you woke up IN A COFFIN?
*I don't want to get into why John Black and Bo are wearing matching outfits, but I like to think they had a conversation about it, all, "What are you wearing to dig up Marlena's dead body?" "I don't know, I was thinking black and grey? You should wear a tank top for sure."
*Inside the bar, Marlena sighs that she doesn't know why the memory of being buried alive is overwhelming her. Uh, BECAUSE YOU WERE BURIED ALIVE? That would be traumatic. I'm just saying. But Roman wants to "work with it." He wonders how she got out of the coffin and to the island. "Did they dig you up?" Abe asks. "Or did they use the catacombs and tunnels under the sea?" Roman asks mildly, like he's wondering if they took the 405 or the 10 to get to work.
*OH MY GOD, THIS BELLE IS SO BAD. I really don't have words for how bad she is. Even Real World Kyle is like, "DAMN." Belle says, "I don't care about your cat only about Shawn why hasn't he called me is he all right?" In exactly that manner, without any sort of verbal punctuation, but with, like, junior-high hand gestures. Seriously, I really, really want to know how this actress got hired.
*The brain trust is still trying to figure out what happened to them. "Remember when Carly Manning was buried alive?" Abe asks. "Of course I remember," Victor says. Yeah, who forgets it when SOMEONE THEY KNOW IS BURIED ALIVE? Stupid Abe.
*she's sobbing about dying, and gasping, and sobbing more, and I have to say, it's nice that they buried her with her fake lashes on. She starts saying the Lord's Prayer, and I can't believe they're making us sit through the entire prayer. But as we get to the "daily bread" moment, there's some clanking, and the casket starts lurching around, and then when we get to end of the prayer, the coffin is really moving around and we slam to a tight close-up and then Marlena is like.....SPEEDING THOUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE EARTH IN HER CASKET! There is DIRT! All around her hair! And then we see the coffin, like, flying through the cosmos, and it IS ON FIRE, and this is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen.
*"All I know is what I know," John Black says. Profound. At this, we cut to a hilarious flashback of John looking upset as a mortician, like, STABS THE SHIT out of Marlena's "dead" body. Sami snuffles that she was SO SURE her mother was alive back at the funeral, and John reminds her that they triple-checked for her deaditude.
*he and John Black head right over to the funeral home, Sami and Lucas in tow. "Has there been another death in the family?" the undertaker asks. "No. We just. Dug up. My wife's grave." John says, haltingly. "Guess what. We found?" Talk normally, my good man. Bo pipes up that the coffin was empty. "This is HIGHLY IRREGULAR," the undertaker says. Well...yes. Lucas notes that they're pretty sure Marlena was buried alive, and the mortician points out that they actually watched him embalm Marlena. John lockjaws that he thinks the mortician has been VERY UNPROFESSIONAL, which...again, yes.
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=136&story=8901
Best quotes:
* There are also two books featured in this episode. When I write the recap proper, I will tell you, as I have done with two other featured works of literature, to check out the first word on pages 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42, because it forms a sentence that could be a hint. As with the other times I've done this, I will be lying, and I will remind you in the recap that I have lied before and am clearly not to be trusted. And yet, the day after the recap goes up, I will receive email from people wanting to know whether I'm talking hardcover or paperback. Just warning you.
*It's almost like we can't trust these people whose hobbies include kidnapping pregnant women, hanging bass players, and blowing up recreational rafters.
Oh, and in case you're morbidly curious about just how unbelievably awful Days became a year or so ago -- not that it wasn't before or since, just that this is the ep the Days' thread chose to have recapped, the TWOP recap can be found here:
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/story.cgi?show=56&story=8884&limit=&sort=
Best Quotes:
*I also have to thank the Days watchers for explaining to me the Saga of Very Experienced Charity Rahmer, who plays Belle in this episode, and who apparently lasted on this show only two weeks. Although I was warned that she was awful, OH MY GOD SHE IS AWFUL. I was better in my high-school production of Saint Joan, and I was PLAYING A MAN.
* Anyway, Marlena. She's lying there in her coffin, pathetically sobbing for John Black. I would have been kicking and clawing like hell, but you know. She's been through a lot. She's probably tired. We cut back to the bar, where she says, so very ponderously, "I knew I was buried alive." What tipped you off? Could it have been the fact that you woke up IN A COFFIN?
*I don't want to get into why John Black and Bo are wearing matching outfits, but I like to think they had a conversation about it, all, "What are you wearing to dig up Marlena's dead body?" "I don't know, I was thinking black and grey? You should wear a tank top for sure."
*Inside the bar, Marlena sighs that she doesn't know why the memory of being buried alive is overwhelming her. Uh, BECAUSE YOU WERE BURIED ALIVE? That would be traumatic. I'm just saying. But Roman wants to "work with it." He wonders how she got out of the coffin and to the island. "Did they dig you up?" Abe asks. "Or did they use the catacombs and tunnels under the sea?" Roman asks mildly, like he's wondering if they took the 405 or the 10 to get to work.
*OH MY GOD, THIS BELLE IS SO BAD. I really don't have words for how bad she is. Even Real World Kyle is like, "DAMN." Belle says, "I don't care about your cat only about Shawn why hasn't he called me is he all right?" In exactly that manner, without any sort of verbal punctuation, but with, like, junior-high hand gestures. Seriously, I really, really want to know how this actress got hired.
*The brain trust is still trying to figure out what happened to them. "Remember when Carly Manning was buried alive?" Abe asks. "Of course I remember," Victor says. Yeah, who forgets it when SOMEONE THEY KNOW IS BURIED ALIVE? Stupid Abe.
*she's sobbing about dying, and gasping, and sobbing more, and I have to say, it's nice that they buried her with her fake lashes on. She starts saying the Lord's Prayer, and I can't believe they're making us sit through the entire prayer. But as we get to the "daily bread" moment, there's some clanking, and the casket starts lurching around, and then when we get to end of the prayer, the coffin is really moving around and we slam to a tight close-up and then Marlena is like.....SPEEDING THOUGH THE MIDDLE OF THE EARTH IN HER CASKET! There is DIRT! All around her hair! And then we see the coffin, like, flying through the cosmos, and it IS ON FIRE, and this is the funniest fucking thing I have ever seen.
*"All I know is what I know," John Black says. Profound. At this, we cut to a hilarious flashback of John looking upset as a mortician, like, STABS THE SHIT out of Marlena's "dead" body. Sami snuffles that she was SO SURE her mother was alive back at the funeral, and John reminds her that they triple-checked for her deaditude.
*he and John Black head right over to the funeral home, Sami and Lucas in tow. "Has there been another death in the family?" the undertaker asks. "No. We just. Dug up. My wife's grave." John says, haltingly. "Guess what. We found?" Talk normally, my good man. Bo pipes up that the coffin was empty. "This is HIGHLY IRREGULAR," the undertaker says. Well...yes. Lucas notes that they're pretty sure Marlena was buried alive, and the mortician points out that they actually watched him embalm Marlena. John lockjaws that he thinks the mortician has been VERY UNPROFESSIONAL, which...again, yes.
