Twilight

Since I linked to a Twilight mocking fic last night, I thought that for the sake of posterity (er... which translates to "ease of my finding the stuff for the lulz in the future") I should link to some of the crack Twilight stuff wandering around the web.

What is Twilight? It's a young adult book series following the angsty romance of pain in the ass, Mary Sue, emo teen Bella and the 100+ year old virgin vampire who attends high school for no apparent reason Edward Cullen... who sparkles! I'm not kidding.

No, seriously:

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I know! And that's not all. There's other cracktastic stuff in the novels, too!

Okay. Okay, I'm intending to archive not judge. ::composes self:: ahem.

* shinga does a hilarious play-by-play of the first novel

* tkp gives a summary in comic book format

* cleolinda gives her insights

* The publishers decide to compare Twilight to Harry Potter. So of course... there will be wank! (Harry Potter is involved. Of course there's wank)

* And they sell the movie rights, so Entertainment Weekly does a horrific cover story on Twilight

* And there are icons!

* cleolinda also summarizes: Book 2 - New Moon , Book 3 - Eclipse

And then... (Oh lord.) And then it turns into glorious crackfic! cleolinda's summary of Book 4 - Breaking Dawn It's insane!!! ( Spoilers for Breaking Dawn )

* So, yeah, the professional reviews? They are bad

* And there's wank! There must be wank!

* Cleolinda makes a wiki

* Finally, stoney321 reads the summaries and declares the series is Book of Mormon badfic! And now she promises to read the books and review them in context. Yay!

Twilight

Since I linked to a Twilight mocking fic last night, I thought that for the sake of posterity (er... which translates to "ease of my finding the stuff for the lulz in the future") I should link to some of the crack Twilight stuff wandering around the web.

What is Twilight? It's a young adult book series following the angsty romance of pain in the ass, Mary Sue, emo teen Bella and the 100+ year old virgin vampire who attends high school for no apparent reason Edward Cullen... who sparkles! I'm not kidding.

No, seriously:

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I know! And that's not all. There's other cracktastic stuff in the novels, too!

Okay. Okay, I'm intending to archive not judge. ::composes self:: ahem.

* shinga does a hilarious play-by-play of the first novel

* tkp gives a summary in comic book format

* cleolinda gives her insights

* The publishers decide to compare Twilight to Harry Potter. So of course... there will be wank! (Harry Potter is involved. Of course there's wank)

* And they sell the movie rights, so Entertainment Weekly does a horrific cover story on Twilight

* And there are icons!

* cleolinda also summarizes: Book 2 - New Moon , Book 3 - Eclipse

And then... (Oh lord.) And then it turns into glorious crackfic! cleolinda's summary of Book 4 - Breaking Dawn It's insane!!! ( Spoilers for Breaking Dawn )

* So, yeah, the professional reviews? They are bad

* And there's wank! There must be wank!

* Cleolinda makes a wiki

* Finally, stoney321 reads the summaries and declares the series is Book of Mormon badfic! And now she promises to read the books and review them in context. Yay!

Twilight

Since I linked to a Twilight mocking fic last night, I thought that for the sake of posterity (er... which translates to "ease of my finding the stuff for the lulz in the future") I should link to some of the crack Twilight stuff wandering around the web.

What is Twilight? It's a young adult book series following the angsty romance of pain in the ass, Mary Sue, emo teen Bella and the 100+ year old virgin vampire who attends high school for no apparent reason Edward Cullen... who sparkles! I'm not kidding.

No, seriously:

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

I know! And that's not all. There's other cracktastic stuff in the novels, too!

Okay. Okay, I'm intending to archive not judge. ::composes self:: ahem.

* shinga does a hilarious play-by-play of the first novel

* tkp gives a summary in comic book format

* cleolinda gives her insights

* The publishers decide to compare Twilight to Harry Potter. So of course... there will be wank! (Harry Potter is involved. Of course there's wank)

* And they sell the movie rights, so Entertainment Weekly does a horrific cover story on Twilight

* And there are icons!

* cleolinda also summarizes: Book 2 - New Moon , Book 3 - Eclipse

And then... (Oh lord.) And then it turns into glorious crackfic! cleolinda's summary of Book 4 - Breaking Dawn It's insane!!! ( Spoilers for Breaking Dawn )

* So, yeah, the professional reviews? They are bad

* And there's wank! There must be wank!

* Cleolinda makes a wiki

* Finally, stoney321 reads the summaries and declares the series is Book of Mormon badfic! And now she promises to read the books and review them in context. Yay!

Olympics

I have to thank my Alma Mater for giving me all sorts of people to root for during the swimming competitions. I do root for the Americans, but when they say that a swimmer is from Auburn, I find myself thinking "War Eagle!"



So War Eagle Cesar Ceilo Filho from Brazil!
And War Eagle Coventry from Zimbabwe!
And War Eagle Targett from Austrailia!
And War Eagle and Go USA for Hoelzer and Glangoff!

And I have to say that Serbian Cevich is damn cute! Sorry about the Silver. Damn, it was close. 1/100th of a second? 1/100th of a second?! Jeez! Even Michael Phelps's mom looked stunned by that sort of the photo-finish. Can you believe he won by 1/100th of a second?!

Olympics

I have to thank my Alma Mater for giving me all sorts of people to root for during the swimming competitions. I do root for the Americans, but when they say that a swimmer is from Auburn, I find myself thinking "War Eagle!"



So War Eagle Cesar Ceilo Filho from Brazil!
And War Eagle Coventry from Zimbabwe!
And War Eagle Targett from Austrailia!
And War Eagle and Go USA for Hoelzer and Glangoff!

And I have to say that Serbian Cevich is damn cute! Sorry about the Silver. Damn, it was close. 1/100th of a second? 1/100th of a second?! Jeez! Even Michael Phelps's mom looked stunned by that sort of the photo-finish. Can you believe he won by 1/100th of a second?!

Olympics

I have to thank my Alma Mater for giving me all sorts of people to root for during the swimming competitions. I do root for the Americans, but when they say that a swimmer is from Auburn, I find myself thinking "War Eagle!"



So War Eagle Cesar Ceilo Filho from Brazil!
And War Eagle Coventry from Zimbabwe!
And War Eagle Targett from Austrailia!
And War Eagle and Go USA for Hoelzer and Glangoff!

And I have to say that Serbian Cevich is damn cute! Sorry about the Silver. Damn, it was close. 1/100th of a second? 1/100th of a second?! Jeez! Even Michael Phelps's mom looked stunned by that sort of the photo-finish. Can you believe he won by 1/100th of a second?!