Daily Show

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MITT ROMNEY (7/13/2012): The documents show that there's a difference between ownership, which is that I owned Bain, but I did not manage Bain ... and when you leave an enterprise, and when you have other people managing the enterprise, who take responsibility for all the investment decisions, who decide who's going to get hired and fired, who decide compensation decisions, they're the managers, they're the people running the business.


STEWART: "I was just the guy with the smokescreen-ish yet still legal title of sole owner, CEO, and Managing Director who was paid a salary of at least $100,000 a year to do what, according to me, Mitt Romney, was nothing! ... And that's the kind of common sense business experience I hope to bring to the White House..."


Transcript behind the cut for those who can't see the vids (which may not work anyway):

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Can a brother get a surrogate up in this bitch?

ED GILLESPIE (7/15/2012): He took a leave of absence, and in fact, Candy, he ended up not going back at all, and retired retroactively to February of 1999 as a result.

(Jon kisses his fingers in amazement)

Wow!  Retired retroactively.

"See, in 2012, I realize the company I was legally CEO of in 1999 did things that would hurt my presidential campaign in the present.  So I retroactively 'retired.' "

I'm not saying that if you have a time machine, you necessarily have to kill Hitler, but this retroactive retirement is the worst use of a time machine I have ever seen.

( Read more... )

Daily Show

( Read more... )

MITT ROMNEY (7/13/2012): The documents show that there's a difference between ownership, which is that I owned Bain, but I did not manage Bain ... and when you leave an enterprise, and when you have other people managing the enterprise, who take responsibility for all the investment decisions, who decide who's going to get hired and fired, who decide compensation decisions, they're the managers, they're the people running the business.


STEWART: "I was just the guy with the smokescreen-ish yet still legal title of sole owner, CEO, and Managing Director who was paid a salary of at least $100,000 a year to do what, according to me, Mitt Romney, was nothing! ... And that's the kind of common sense business experience I hope to bring to the White House..."


Transcript behind the cut for those who can't see the vids (which may not work anyway):

( Read more... )

Can a brother get a surrogate up in this bitch?

ED GILLESPIE (7/15/2012): He took a leave of absence, and in fact, Candy, he ended up not going back at all, and retired retroactively to February of 1999 as a result.

(Jon kisses his fingers in amazement)

Wow!  Retired retroactively.

"See, in 2012, I realize the company I was legally CEO of in 1999 did things that would hurt my presidential campaign in the present.  So I retroactively 'retired.' "

I'm not saying that if you have a time machine, you necessarily have to kill Hitler, but this retroactive retirement is the worst use of a time machine I have ever seen.

( Read more... )

Random Life Stuff

* So there's a... clutch? hutch? litter? of bunnies in my neighborhood. Some impressively large parents and adorable small bunnies that come out at dusk... and my dog LOOOOOVES them. She leads me to the door each dusk to go out searching for them (and by 'search' I mean... take a walk around the neighborhood and catch them in my neighbors-- or occasionally my own-- yard.) Puppy gets so excited. It's totally cute.


* Watching Bunheads a day late and.. who gave Boo mom jeans from 1987? And WHY would they do that???


* Watched Political Animals this weekend and found it surprisingly okay. After all, Sigourney Weaver? Always awesome. And though I really wanted to like The Newsroom Sorkin speechifying and horrible treatment of female characters on Newsroom make this show not particularly likable. Political Animals is far more soapy, but the female characters (particular Weaver and Ellen Burstyn are fun) so it's actually the more enjoyable show.


* Deadline at work. Overtime. Guh.


* Because the puppy initially had problems sleeping through the night, I downloaded the ap for a white noise and nature sounds sleep machine (that I plugged into my Iphone dock w/ speakers). I don't know whether to say that it worked for the puppy as her learning to sleep through the night may simply be age, but I have to say that I wake up less during the night. It's supposed to work somewhere along the lines of 'as it lulls you to sleep with what are essentially repetitive sounds (such as beach waves etc). Your brain become habituated to the noise and thus you're less likely to wake at every little sound' (which was why I initially downloaded it for the puppy. I didn't want her waking up at every little noise). It...well... sort of works. I used to wake up all the time due to the heat pump/air conditioner turning on and off, and I don't any longer. Weird. It worked. So now I've found myself downloading nature sounds MP3s. Usually cicadas and beach sounds and such, but I got this garden one this weekend , and there's this occasional bird call in it that reminds me of The Hunger Games each and every time, because it's only one note different than the Mockingjay call used for the movies. Wonder if it's a Mockingbird call? Either that, or a Bluejay, I guess. (I suppose, I could look it up and find the answer). And holy cow, $12+ bucks for the CD, but only $1.98 for the download? Who would ever buy the CD then?

Random Life Stuff

* So there's a... clutch? hutch? litter? of bunnies in my neighborhood. Some impressively large parents and adorable small bunnies that come out at dusk... and my dog LOOOOOVES them. She leads me to the door each dusk to go out searching for them (and by 'search' I mean... take a walk around the neighborhood and catch them in my neighbors-- or occasionally my own-- yard.) Puppy gets so excited. It's totally cute.


* Watching Bunheads a day late and.. who gave Boo mom jeans from 1987? And WHY would they do that???


* Watched Political Animals this weekend and found it surprisingly okay. After all, Sigourney Weaver? Always awesome. And though I really wanted to like The Newsroom Sorkin speechifying and horrible treatment of female characters on Newsroom make this show not particularly likable. Political Animals is far more soapy, but the female characters (particular Weaver and Ellen Burstyn are fun) so it's actually the more enjoyable show.


* Deadline at work. Overtime. Guh.


* Because the puppy initially had problems sleeping through the night, I downloaded the ap for a white noise and nature sounds sleep machine (that I plugged into my Iphone dock w/ speakers). I don't know whether to say that it worked for the puppy as her learning to sleep through the night may simply be age, but I have to say that I wake up less during the night. It's supposed to work somewhere along the lines of 'as it lulls you to sleep with what are essentially repetitive sounds (such as beach waves etc). Your brain become habituated to the noise and thus you're less likely to wake at every little sound' (which was why I initially downloaded it for the puppy. I didn't want her waking up at every little noise). It...well... sort of works. I used to wake up all the time due to the heat pump/air conditioner turning on and off, and I don't any longer. Weird. It worked. So now I've found myself downloading nature sounds MP3s. Usually cicadas and beach sounds and such, but I got this garden one this weekend , and there's this occasional bird call in it that reminds me of The Hunger Games each and every time, because it's only one note different than the Mockingjay call used for the movies. Wonder if it's a Mockingbird call? Either that, or a Bluejay, I guess. (I suppose, I could look it up and find the answer). And holy cow, $12+ bucks for the CD, but only $1.98 for the download? Who would ever buy the CD then?