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What Can You Do But Snark...
Oct. 9th, 2013 09:55 am:
A letter from a disappointed Atlanta Braves fan to his congress critter re: the growing governing crisis.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Which brings to mind Colbert's skit about the crisis the other night, playing off the clip of Boehner screaming "This is not a game!" in a Q&A two days ago (Of course, yesterday he said it's not going to end until the Republicans have "points on the scoreboard".)
Colbert announced his "IT'S NOT A GAME!" game. Brought to you by the same company that makes "NOT SORRY" and "Your Operation Is Denied Due to No Health Insurance."
He explained that the goal of the game is to attempt to pass the continuing resolution and to ignore the debt limit.
When explaining how to play the game to his 10-year-old opponent...
Colbert: "The rules are, I go first, and I refuse to take my turn. And you can't take your turn until I'm done."
Brendan: "What?"
Colbert: "I know you're upset, but we're both at fault here, so let's negotiate. I'll agree to take my turn if you'll agree that I win."
Brendan: "That's not fair. Why would I even play this game?"
Colbert: "IT'S NOT A DAMN GAME, Brendan!!! People's jobs are at stake! ...For instance, I fired your father and he can't have his job back until you play with me."
Brendan: (sighs) "Fine, I'll play. Just go!"
Colbert: "Okay, I move one space, and I win! Now, I'll just take an opinion poll to see what voters think of me... {reads card} Goddamnit!"
Colbert tosses all the pieces into the air and throws the gameboard off the table.
Colbert: "Get out, you cheater! GET OUT! And tell your dad, I'll see him in hell!!!"
A letter from a disappointed Atlanta Braves fan to his congress critter re: the growing governing crisis.
In a thinly veiled reference to the House GOP's relentless attempts to repeal the Affordable Care Act, Kaplan noted that his beloved team "sent batters to the plate at least 40 times" in Monday's 4-3 loss, which eliminated the Braves from the playoffs.
"Just because we couldn't score enough runs, the Dodgers refuse to relinquish the title — and worse, they won't even discuss it," Kaplan wrote.
"{The Dodgers'} stubborn refusal to even talk to us about reversing the results of this series is un-sportsmanlike and un-American. But there is an answer: If the Dodgers won't listen to the cries of average Americans like you and me, then Congress should outlaw Major League Baseball until the Dodgers cave."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Which brings to mind Colbert's skit about the crisis the other night, playing off the clip of Boehner screaming "This is not a game!" in a Q&A two days ago (Of course, yesterday he said it's not going to end until the Republicans have "points on the scoreboard".)
Colbert announced his "IT'S NOT A GAME!" game. Brought to you by the same company that makes "NOT SORRY" and "Your Operation Is Denied Due to No Health Insurance."
He explained that the goal of the game is to attempt to pass the continuing resolution and to ignore the debt limit.
When explaining how to play the game to his 10-year-old opponent...
Colbert: "The rules are, I go first, and I refuse to take my turn. And you can't take your turn until I'm done."
Brendan: "What?"
Colbert: "I know you're upset, but we're both at fault here, so let's negotiate. I'll agree to take my turn if you'll agree that I win."
Brendan: "That's not fair. Why would I even play this game?"
Colbert: "IT'S NOT A DAMN GAME, Brendan!!! People's jobs are at stake! ...For instance, I fired your father and he can't have his job back until you play with me."
Brendan: (sighs) "Fine, I'll play. Just go!"
Colbert: "Okay, I move one space, and I win! Now, I'll just take an opinion poll to see what voters think of me... {reads card} Goddamnit!"
Colbert tosses all the pieces into the air and throws the gameboard off the table.
Colbert: "Get out, you cheater! GET OUT! And tell your dad, I'll see him in hell!!!"
