And, at the risk of being labeled a 'hater' I have to think that the problem that needs to be addressed in the wake of Season 8 is the problem that is Buffy. I don't mean that in a hater sense. It's just if the character is ever going to be allowed to grow up (something I'm far from certain that Joss has any interest in doing), but if the character is ever to grow up, now is the time to put up or shut up about it.
I'm not really sure who'd be calling you a hater re: this viewpoint...? If you look at what most of the Buffy stans are saying (which admittedly might just be me and Vampmogs at this point), they all want Buffy to go off and be alone, to deal with her issues, to get herself back together. (Didn't we bond in agreement over this very course of action in Maggie's comments a few days ago? I guess I'm puzzled where the expectation of Buffy haterade is coming from...)
Interestingly, I was just having a private chat with ladyofthelog where I plotted out post-Season 8 fic exploring how Buffy needs to heal herself. Admittedly, I'm with prophecygirrl in thinking that Spike or someone else can be present there for her to lean on if she chooses, but that she's the only one who can heal herself.
Here's the thing: It's not even possible for Spike to heal her. It's just... not. We know this. That's not how coping with depression works. That's not how recovering from trauma works. What works is a support system coupled with an individual's willingness to heal, to devote themselves to healing. But of the two, the individual's willingness is what's essential.
The presence of a man giving Buffy support isn't going to negate the reality that only she can heal herself. So it doesn't really even enter my mind as an issue.
He (Spike, Xander, Santa Claus, Obama!) can't heal her, so why would I be worried that he'd heal her and her strong feminist street cred would be damaged because a man fixed her?
His presence cannot diminish the very real internal battle that only she can face. It kinda feels like an extreme feminist point of view: no man can be present or this woman won't get credit for facing her own psychological issues!
Oh snap, another person is present, offered social support and has a penis. Well, clearly the man's the one who fixed her. Pfft, feminist hero, my ass. :P
And I know that it's easy to reference that Erica has her therapist. I wouldn't be against Buffy having one of those too. (Actually I've thought that since Season 6). But I think the time for mentors for Buffy is over.
I've never thought of therapists as mentors. I... don't think that's what they are. I can see how one might describe them that way, but... I mean, going to a surgeon to get my appendix taken out doesn't make him my mentor. Therapy to me is not about mentorship. It's about healing trauma, healing psychological injury. I see where there's similarities obviously, but that equation doesn't really work for me. But then I realize it's kinda a throwaway line there at the end so maybe if you expounded, I'd better understand your take. To me, mentorship is about learning skills from an experienced professional till you're their equal (at least that's what you hope). You don't go to a therapist for treatment so you can become a therapist (like I'm gonna shadow this therapist for a day and ask her to be my mentor). (the comparison is throwing me! ;)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2010-12-07 07:19 am (UTC)I'm not really sure who'd be calling you a hater re: this viewpoint...? If you look at what most of the Buffy stans are saying (which admittedly might just be me and Vampmogs at this point), they all want Buffy to go off and be alone, to deal with her issues, to get herself back together. (Didn't we bond in agreement over this very course of action in Maggie's comments a few days ago? I guess I'm puzzled where the expectation of Buffy haterade is coming from...)
Interestingly, I was just having a private chat with
Here's the thing: It's not even possible for Spike to heal her. It's just... not. We know this. That's not how coping with depression works. That's not how recovering from trauma works. What works is a support system coupled with an individual's willingness to heal, to devote themselves to healing. But of the two, the individual's willingness is what's essential.
The presence of a man giving Buffy support isn't going to negate the reality that only she can heal herself. So it doesn't really even enter my mind as an issue.
He (Spike, Xander, Santa Claus, Obama!) can't heal her, so why would I be worried that he'd heal her and her strong feminist street cred would be damaged because a man fixed her?
His presence cannot diminish the very real internal battle that only she can face. It kinda feels like an extreme feminist point of view: no man can be present or this woman won't get credit for facing her own psychological issues!
Oh snap, another person is present, offered social support and has a penis. Well, clearly the man's the one who fixed her. Pfft, feminist hero, my ass. :P
And I know that it's easy to reference that Erica has her therapist. I wouldn't be against Buffy having one of those too. (Actually I've thought that since Season 6). But I think the time for mentors for Buffy is over.
I've never thought of therapists as mentors. I... don't think that's what they are. I can see how one might describe them that way, but... I mean, going to a surgeon to get my appendix taken out doesn't make him my mentor. Therapy to me is not about mentorship. It's about healing trauma, healing psychological injury. I see where there's similarities obviously, but that equation doesn't really work for me. But then I realize it's kinda a throwaway line there at the end so maybe if you expounded, I'd better understand your take. To me, mentorship is about learning skills from an experienced professional till you're their equal (at least that's what you hope). You don't go to a therapist for treatment so you can become a therapist (like I'm gonna shadow this therapist for a day and ask her to be my mentor). (the comparison is throwing me! ;)