To take the abortion issue as another example, it wasn't the movement from Buffy thinking she was pregnant to deciding to terminate that was the problem, it was the anti-feminist way in which it was set up and the lack of follow through that made it not much of anything at all.

I thought that as well. Along with the logic used to come to the conclusion. Her wants/desires never entered into it, it was all about how she wasn't able to take care of it at that point(as Joss said). So their attempt to be progressive still basically places the benchmark of a woman's existence on whether or not she can care for a child, not on her own goals/choices.