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shipperxSo, yes, I know that I should have bailed on this book ages ago, but I was so far in. I just wanted to know how it ended.
So if you want to know how it ended...
I believe my poll revealed that the heroine was dumb as a rock and went to the coronation of the villain without telling anyone and without forming any sort of plan. She then needed rescuing by both male leads and her brother. Hunky vampire boyfriend literally turned into a dragon!!! (I need one of those "Twilight Season 8 means never having to say you're kidding" icons). Hulk smash Dragon tears down a church. Hunky Vampire Slayer is injured rescuing the heroine from certain death. She makes a tourniquet (such is her contribution to the 'vampire war'... you know, other than being a hostage.) Vampire Slayer is now in love with the heroine that he's known for a perhaps a touch more than twenty-four hours. (Which at least makes him a more difficult get than the vampire that's in true, eternal love with her after a dinner party). Vampire Slayer gets the Vatican to make the heroine a job offer to be part of the vampire slaying crew, because... did I forget to mention that everyone in charge of her soap opera and daytime programming are now vampires too? (The writer even has the heroine draw parallels between vampires and the youth-obsessed soaps and their hawking of beauty products.)
But heroine has one last thing to do...
She goes home and finds that the hunky vampire has repaired everything that is broken in her apartment and wants brownie points for not having killed the heroine's brother or the vampire slayer. And heroine has an epiphany that the vampire is obsessively controlling, ya'll! He wants to 'protect her' to death! And run-away to Thailand. But basically she's bothered about the 'protect her to death part.' He wants to take care of her and doesn't think she needs a job or anything. And he'll turn her so that she'll never grow old. Because vampires are misogynists. We're told that in the beginning and here we are putting a fine point on it. Turns out hunky 530 year old vampires are very patriarchally patronizing, controlling, and have anger issues. But the heroine realizes that she doesn't want to die for beauty or for love. She's taking the job at the Vatican with the other sexist dude, the one who goes around wrestling women onto their beds, yanking up their skirts while they yell, and lecturing them on their sex lives.
Actually, that's probably a bit more snarky than I intend. The final scene where the heroine realizes that the vampire is obsessive, controlling, and patronizing was actually fairly enjoyable. Wish the whole book had backed that up through characterization rather than the heroine constantly bitching about monster misogynists. Show don't tell, people. There could have been some good satire going on, but instead of seeming satirical, it mostly came across as being dumb.
But the vampire (at this point any of the vampires would do) was at last a tiny bit scary at the end... when we saw his controlling side. More could have been done with this! Why wasn't more done with this? Why was most of the book the heroine being a starry-eyed, useless moron? And, I'm still not sure whether the writer realizes that all the guys in this book are douches, and not just the vampire.
And for the love of freaking God, stop calling that dog it's full name every freaking five seconds!!!!!! Guh!
So if you want to know how it ended...
I believe my poll revealed that the heroine was dumb as a rock and went to the coronation of the villain without telling anyone and without forming any sort of plan. She then needed rescuing by both male leads and her brother. Hunky vampire boyfriend literally turned into a dragon!!! (I need one of those "
But heroine has one last thing to do...
She goes home and finds that the hunky vampire has repaired everything that is broken in her apartment and wants brownie points for not having killed the heroine's brother or the vampire slayer. And heroine has an epiphany that the vampire is obsessively controlling, ya'll! He wants to 'protect her' to death! And run-away to Thailand. But basically she's bothered about the 'protect her to death part.' He wants to take care of her and doesn't think she needs a job or anything. And he'll turn her so that she'll never grow old. Because vampires are misogynists. We're told that in the beginning and here we are putting a fine point on it. Turns out hunky 530 year old vampires are very patriarchally patronizing, controlling, and have anger issues. But the heroine realizes that she doesn't want to die for beauty or for love. She's taking the job at the Vatican with the other sexist dude, the one who goes around wrestling women onto their beds, yanking up their skirts while they yell, and lecturing them on their sex lives.
Actually, that's probably a bit more snarky than I intend. The final scene where the heroine realizes that the vampire is obsessive, controlling, and patronizing was actually fairly enjoyable. Wish the whole book had backed that up through characterization rather than the heroine constantly bitching about monster misogynists. Show don't tell, people. There could have been some good satire going on, but instead of seeming satirical, it mostly came across as being dumb.
But the vampire (at this point any of the vampires would do) was at last a tiny bit scary at the end... when we saw his controlling side. More could have been done with this! Why wasn't more done with this? Why was most of the book the heroine being a starry-eyed, useless moron? And, I'm still not sure whether the writer realizes that all the guys in this book are douches, and not just the vampire.
And for the love of freaking God, stop calling that dog it's full name every freaking five seconds!!!!!! Guh!
