Fandom Sexism
Aug. 30th, 2010 10:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shipperxAlmost without fail, when I read through the Mad Men thread on TWOP I come away astonished with the sexism. I'm not talking about the sexism within the show. The period-appropriate sexism within the show is done for deliberate effect. We're supposed to be bothered and outraged by it. It's fandom's more nuanced sexism that really gets me. It's like the poster I saw today who pretty much posted "I knew it!" saying that they knew they'd come online and see people thinking that Peggy was overreacting and blaming and/or putting her down for it. And it's not just Peggy. It's any woman, because it has been darn near any woman.
Any woman who dares be unimpressed or angry with Don is, to some fans, overreacting. It's "Don's trying to tell Peggy to toughen up" rather than "Don is ignoring that PEGGY WORKS DAMN HARD." Or "Allison is overreacting. She got herself in that position. How dare she be upset at the way he reacted." "No, Don was perfectly in line yelling at the baby sitter because he knew that Betty would bitch at him." "Betty is so darn selfish for thinking about her brunch when yelling at Donfor forgetting his kids!!"
Any woman who calls Don on his shit is out of line according to fandom.
With Betty it's almost understandable. Betty is a cold and prickly character, and given how screwed-up and horrible she is as a mother, she's frequently not easy to root for or to like. That said, as often as I take offense at Betty on her daughter's behalf, I'm just about always on Betty's side regarding Don (BTW how darn cute was the little girl who plays Sally all dressed up for the Emmys? TV Mom on the other hand was in desperate need of a Mad Men stylist). Unsurprisingly, there are fans who even call out Betty on her behavior this ep which... what?! He forgot to pick up his kids because he was black-out drunk for two freaking days!, but Betty was the problem... Seriously, people? Seriously?! There were people complaining about Allison being furious with him a few weeks ago, too. In fandom, for a lot of people, women aren't allowed to call Don out on his shit. Even as he treats women like shit. Women are always supposed to fall for it, because if they don't, it's not 'fun.'
The show 'gets' that his behavior is very often apalling (The reason I can be a fan is that the show does not turn a blind side or try to excuse these flaws. They present him as 'here is a very flawed man'), why don't fans grant that he can be a total asshole? As Allison said, he is not a good person. (Though a heck of an interesting one played by a very good actor).
I don't understand fandom sometimes.
I've actually seen posts saying that Peggy should be thankful because she's just lucky to be in the position she's in. After all she doesn't have a college degree (but neither does Don!) And there are folks saying that she's wrong to want the recognition for her work, that she is almost certainly exaggerating her work, because clearly Don was primarily responsible... even though she's the character we always see working and its an episode highlighting his taking 'credit' (such as it is) for someone else's work. Yet a chunk of fandom assumes that Peggy is exaggerating. (And another poster was complaining about the 'one-note' 'unrealistic' douche-bag that Peggy was bothered by. Saying they were being hit over the head with the sexism and it was 'unrealistic'. Now, granted Peggy's mode of confrontation was rather unrealistic (though I think somewhat in character) what with her stripping to confront him, calling his bluff, and exposing his bullshit then topping it off by several oblique small penis references But the fact that she's faced with so much in-your-face sexism? Totally realistic. Hell, women today face it far more often than they should. I have twice had male co-workers self-name themselves the boss of me through nothing more than their sense of entitlement. And one of them actually had the balls to say to both myself and an intern "Women were created to serve men" (Yeah, I quit that job). And that's in the 21st century. That the female characters are faced with constant, in-your-face sexism in the workplace in 1964-5 is realistic (which is the show's point).
What really bothers me about the fandom is that it doesn't matter who the woman is. It can be Peggy, Betty, Allison, or the blonde woman in marketing research whose name I don't think I've learned. If the woman poses a problem for Don, people are irritated with the female character. There were fans even blaming the next door neighbor/nurse/babysitter last week.
Again, it's not about the incidents of sexism in the show. On Mad Men that's the point. (It's not even about the show, because I think the show is well aware of the characters flaws) The show intends us to recognize the toxic sexism that someone like Peggy, Joan, etc face. It's that if fandom was a person, it would be a Don enabler and woman hater. The women are wrong sometimes (goodness knows Betty is wrong often enough. In relation to her kids she's really, really difficult to take) no one on Mad Men is all good or all bad. But, come on, the female characters are allowed to recognize and/or call Don on his massive amounts of shit sometimes. I don't care how dapper and handsome he can be, the guy can be truly horrible sometimes.
Any woman who dares be unimpressed or angry with Don is, to some fans, overreacting. It's "Don's trying to tell Peggy to toughen up" rather than "Don is ignoring that PEGGY WORKS DAMN HARD." Or "Allison is overreacting. She got herself in that position. How dare she be upset at the way he reacted." "No, Don was perfectly in line yelling at the baby sitter because he knew that Betty would bitch at him." "Betty is so darn selfish for thinking about her brunch when yelling at Don
Any woman who calls Don on his shit is out of line according to fandom.
With Betty it's almost understandable. Betty is a cold and prickly character, and given how screwed-up and horrible she is as a mother, she's frequently not easy to root for or to like. That said, as often as I take offense at Betty on her daughter's behalf, I'm just about always on Betty's side regarding Don (BTW how darn cute was the little girl who plays Sally all dressed up for the Emmys? TV Mom on the other hand was in desperate need of a Mad Men stylist). Unsurprisingly, there are fans who even call out Betty on her behavior this ep which... what?! He forgot to pick up his kids because he was black-out drunk for two freaking days!, but Betty was the problem... Seriously, people? Seriously?! There were people complaining about Allison being furious with him a few weeks ago, too. In fandom, for a lot of people, women aren't allowed to call Don out on his shit. Even as he treats women like shit. Women are always supposed to fall for it, because if they don't, it's not 'fun.'
The show 'gets' that his behavior is very often apalling (The reason I can be a fan is that the show does not turn a blind side or try to excuse these flaws. They present him as 'here is a very flawed man'), why don't fans grant that he can be a total asshole? As Allison said, he is not a good person. (Though a heck of an interesting one played by a very good actor).
I don't understand fandom sometimes.
I've actually seen posts saying that Peggy should be thankful because she's just lucky to be in the position she's in. After all she doesn't have a college degree (but neither does Don!) And there are folks saying that she's wrong to want the recognition for her work, that she is almost certainly exaggerating her work, because clearly Don was primarily responsible... even though she's the character we always see working and its an episode highlighting his taking 'credit' (such as it is) for someone else's work. Yet a chunk of fandom assumes that Peggy is exaggerating. (And another poster was complaining about the 'one-note' 'unrealistic' douche-bag that Peggy was bothered by. Saying they were being hit over the head with the sexism and it was 'unrealistic'. Now, granted Peggy's mode of confrontation was rather unrealistic (though I think somewhat in character) what with her stripping to confront him, calling his bluff, and exposing his bullshit then topping it off by several oblique small penis references But the fact that she's faced with so much in-your-face sexism? Totally realistic. Hell, women today face it far more often than they should. I have twice had male co-workers self-name themselves the boss of me through nothing more than their sense of entitlement. And one of them actually had the balls to say to both myself and an intern "Women were created to serve men" (Yeah, I quit that job). And that's in the 21st century. That the female characters are faced with constant, in-your-face sexism in the workplace in 1964-5 is realistic (which is the show's point).
What really bothers me about the fandom is that it doesn't matter who the woman is. It can be Peggy, Betty, Allison, or the blonde woman in marketing research whose name I don't think I've learned. If the woman poses a problem for Don, people are irritated with the female character. There were fans even blaming the next door neighbor/nurse/babysitter last week.
Again, it's not about the incidents of sexism in the show. On Mad Men that's the point. (It's not even about the show, because I think the show is well aware of the characters flaws) The show intends us to recognize the toxic sexism that someone like Peggy, Joan, etc face. It's that if fandom was a person, it would be a Don enabler and woman hater. The women are wrong sometimes (goodness knows Betty is wrong often enough. In relation to her kids she's really, really difficult to take) no one on Mad Men is all good or all bad. But, come on, the female characters are allowed to recognize and/or call Don on his massive amounts of shit sometimes. I don't care how dapper and handsome he can be, the guy can be truly horrible sometimes.
