shipperx | Silliness (Reply)

Something silly for the day.

TVGuides 50 top Soap Moments (as I confess to a lifetime of soap viewing with some commentary... BTW -- Opera's network has picked up the HULU version of One Life and All My Children!)

Sordid secrets, evil twins, mind-blowing returns from the dead and love in the afternoon so lushly romantic it makes our knees buckle. We're talking, of course, about daytime soaps, which have been bubbling over with escapist thrills since 1946. Here, like sands through the hourglass, are the grandest, wildest, most shocking moments of our soap-viewing lives — the ones that made us all tune in tomorrow.

1. Luke and Laura's Wedding, General Hospital (1981)
A record 30 million people — many who skipped class or called in sick to work — watched as raucous rebel Lucas Lorenzo Spencer married his earth angel, Laura Baldwin. It's been 31 years and those two still make us swoon.

<blockquote>Guilty as charged. Faked an illness to stay home from school to watch this. (And I was probably too young to have been watching the story in the first place!) I know. I know. Did it anyway. VCRs weren't common in those days, y'know!</blockquote>

2. BJ's heart, General Hospital (1994)
After a devastating school-van accident, the heart of little BJ Jones was transplanted into her dying cousin, Maxie. Tragedy met catharsis when BJ's dad, Tony, laid his head on his niece's chest and quietly listened to his daughter's heart, once again pulsing with life.

<blockquote>I won't even snark about this one. This was absollutely THE best soap moment ever as far as I'm concerned. It was gutwrenching. And the headwriter handled it perfectly so that it resonated through most of the cast. I still remember Felicia (who was the thrilled mother of the child who received the heart transplant hearing that the heart actually came from her neice... and then collapsing into sobs in the corridor of the hospital. Joy and sorrow in the same scene. And Lucy Coe, who had just recently lost her child Serena when Scott, who had custody, disappeared to parts unknown, discovered that her ex-husband Tony's child -- one that she had been stepmother too -- had just tragically died, and her also breaking down into tears. And then there was BJ's adopted mother, Tony's current wife, who had fallen into bed with a bad guy JUST as her daughter was killed... and Tony discovering it just as his daughter died. His fury was... wow. But impossible not to feel for the guy as his world fell apart, and he went to Maxie's bedside to listen to BJ's heart. This was one case where a soap actually hit things out of the park. It's been almost 20 years and I STILL remember all of that because it was so darn powerful.</blockquote>

3. Marlena's possession, Days of Our Lives (1995)
Satan raised holy hell in the sleepy town of Salem, desecrating the local Catholic church and fighting for the body and soul of trusted shrink Marlena Evans. In one cheesetastic scene, Marlena levitated.

<blockquote>Cheesetastic? Oh was it ever. It was truly one of the most batshit hilarious things I had ever seen (Up until that point as loopy as Days had been, it had not gone the time travel/clones/ghosts/aliens routes as other shows -- to that point-- so when it became obvious that they were trying to sell this plot as Marlena being possessed by Satan and John/Roman/Forrest/Amnesia/Mercenary/JewelThief/Brain Surgeon (not kidding, he was one week)/Pilot/Priest/Oh whoever he was that week was going to 'save'her in an excorcism? And then she levitated? I tell you I LITERALLY fell on the floor laughing. It was the funniest thing ever until... Well, wait a few numbers down... </blockquote>

4. Bert's diagnosis, Guiding Light(1962)
In daytime's first social-issue storyline, Springfield mom Bert Bauer (Charita Bauer) contracted uterine cancer but found out in time, thanks to an early pap smear.

5. Karen's testimony, One Life to Live (1979)
In a scorching courtroom meltdown, Llanview hausfrau Karen Wolek (Judith Light) was forced to reveal her secret life as a prostitute. Her blindsided hubby, Larry, immediately demanded a divorce. The upside: Light won an Emmy.

<blockquote>Now this storyline I was definitely, definitely WAY TOO YOUNG TO HAVE BEEN WATCHING! I was what? 7? Again, though, I was totally watching. And I REMEMBER it! (I loved her and con-man Marco Dane. I don't even know if I understood what was going on, just that she was infinitely watchable</blockquote>

6. Katherine's facelift, The Young and the Restless (1984)
When daytime's most daring diva, Jeanne Cooper, had a cosmetic overhaul in real life, so did her rich-bitch character, Katherine Chancellor. In a pioneering preview of reality TV, graphic footage of Cooper's actual surgery aired on Y&R.

7. Erica's abortion, All My Children\ (1973)
Fashion model Erica Kane found herself with child but chose to end the pregnancy — without telling her husband — in TV's first post-Roe v. Wade abortion. In the dumbest writer decision ever, the fetus was "unaborted" in 2005. Don't get us started.

I was too young for this story, but I saw the "unabortion" who came to town in 2005 as a good-looking twenty something guy (who Kendal's husband eventually murdered to give Kendal a replacement heart). And, yeah, that was dumb.

Offensive, and dumb.blockquote>

8. Jeff's death in a car crash, As the World Turns (1962)

9. Viki's out-of-body experience, One Life to Live (1987)
Ushering in the new, anything-goes era in soaps, Llanview's premier citizen "died" during brain surgery and wound up in heaven. Fortunately, it was a round-trip. In a kooky follow-up plot, Viki visited the lost underground world of Eterna!

10. Reva's dip in the fountain, Guiding Light (1985)
When hot-to-trot Reva (the ferocious Kim Zimmer) was accused of infidelity by her bitter stepson Josh, she didn't deny it. Instead, she stripped down to her undies in the country club fountain and baptized herself "the slut of Springfield."

11. Lisa hits Oakdale, ATWT (1960)
12. Roger rapes Holly, GL (1979)
13. Carla is black! OLTL (1969)

14. Tracy withholds Edward's heart meds, GH (1980)

<blockquote>Remember this one too! Tracy could be a stone cold bitch sometimes. Then again Edward (especially Original!Edward could too). Also up there was when Tracy's brother Alan literally blew up the building where his wife was having an affair with Rick Webber. Those Quartermaines! Any wonder we loved them?</blockquote>

15. Bianca comes out as gay to her mother Erica, AMC (2000)
16. The Salem Strangler "kills" Marlena, Days (1982)
17. Robin is diagnosed with HIV, GH (1995)
18. Nola's movie fantasies, GL (1981)
19. Margo euthanizes Casey, ATWT (1990)

20. Marlena is a serial killer, Days (2004)
<blockquote>Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. And she "killed" Alice-freaking-HORTON by shoving donuts down her throat. Also killed Jack, but Jack was killed what? 10 times before they offed him. But, no bitches, NO ONE KILLS ALICE HORTON (until the late and wonderful actress died a few years ago)</blockquote>

21. The Kristen-Susan craziness, Days (1997)
<blockquote>I could go into how dumb and annoying it was, but why bother? It was AWFUL!</blockquote>

22. David Kimble's killer forehead, Y&R (1991)

23. Lucy Coe is a secret ho! GH (1986)
<blockquote>This I remember! Gotta love Lucy -- meek and mousy librarian reveals herself (to the audience) as a quick-witted sexy schemer. Took a while for the town to find out.</blockquote>

24. Maureen dies, GL (1993)
25. Maeve sings "Danny Boy," Ryan's Hope (1989)
26. Mona's funeral, AMC (1994)

27. Marty is gang-raped, OLTL (1993)

<blockquote>Another this isn't snark and it isn't funny one. This rape was reasonably well done storywise and it was truly, TRULY horrific. ::shudder: God, it was awful. The actors did a good (though of course horrifying) job. </blockquote>

28. Barnabas Collins is a vampire! Dark Shadows (1967)
29. Caleb Morley is a vampire! Port Charles (2001)

30. Felicia's intervention, Another World (1992)

Personally, I preferred the storyline where it was revealed that wild-child, rock-producer Lorna Devon was Felicia's biological child after Felicia had spent months looking down on Lorna as not being 'as good' or saintly or perfect as her adopted daughter what's-her-face. And thus had treated Lorna as 'the enemy'

31. Andrea's trial, Search for Tomorrow (1968)
32. Rachel kills Janice, AW (1981)
33. Doug elopes with Addie, Days (1972)
34. Cliff and Nina's wedding, AMC (1980)
35. Stephanie succumbs to cancer, The Bold and the Beautiful (2012)
36. Sloane faces the firing squad, Capitol (1987)

37. Jenny dies by Jet Ski, AMC (1984)
<blockquote>Poor Jenny. Wasn't she on her honeymoon too?</blockquote>

38. Ridge is not a Forrester, B&B (2001)
39. Nancy and Mike break up, The Edge of Night (1976)
40. Adam is murdered, EON (1977)
41. Cindy loses her battle with AIDS, AMC (1989)
42. Tina's wedding screwup, OLTL (1988)
43. Caroline's death, B&B (1990)
44. Bo and Hope go on the run, Days (1984)

45. Timmy the doll becomes a real boy, Passions (2002)

Didn't this air the same day that the very young actor really died? It was a bizarre coincidence.
Bet Spike cried...</blockquote>

46. Reva is cloned, GL (1998)

47. Tad the Cad beds Marian, AMC (1983)

<blockquote>Tad, a high schooler at the time, bedded his girlfriend's middle-aged mother...</blockquote>

48. Mary is murdered by the Mob, RH (1979)
49. The AIDS quilt visits Llanview, OLTL (1992)
50. Doug stalks Kim, ATWT (1986)

51. J.R. fires gun during Pine Valley party, AMC (2011)

<blockquote>Really? No, seriously, really? This made the top fifty? Oh, please, I could name fifty other events that should have ranked higher than this one.</blockquote>

52. Janet pushes Natalie down a well, AMC (1991)

<blockquote>Like this one for instance</blockquote>

53. Ryan and Vicky reunite in Heaven, AW (1997)

<blockquote>Um... how did that happen? Vicky didn't die until YEARS later... when she was married to Jake...and was on As the World Turns!</blockquote>

54. Joan Crawford fills in as Joan Kane, The Secret Storm (1968)

55. Vincent gets pregnant by his own father, Passions (2007)
<blockquote>Just reading that and I'm o.O?!?!</blockquote>

56. Luke and Noah kiss, ATWT (2007)
57. Bob trysts with Susan, ATWT (1990)

58. Mary is killed by the big C, Santa Barbara (1986)

<blockquote>I vaguely remember that! Vaguely</blockquote>

59. Luke rapes Laura, GH (1979)
60. Jo has soaps' first pregnancy, SFT (1956)