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Heh article from i09
After nearly 50 years, Star Trek is still transporting us. But which Star Trek? There have been so many, and we all have our own favorites. It's not just generational, either — it's personal. Here's a handy* guide to what your favorite version of Star Trek says about you.:
Star Trek: The Original Show:
You love to go out every night and get into trouble. You like your Saurian brandy strong and your whiskey straight from the bottle. Sometimes you can't quite remember what happened the next day, and there are cameraphone videos of you acting "out of character" — almost as if you were duplicated by the transporter or affected by a weird goop or hit with bliss spores. But you always manage to laugh it off. You're loyal to your friends, but nobody can tell you what to do. You hate authority figures, especially old dudes. You like to get kind of baked and talk about philosophy and the nature of social evolution, but you're also really good at your job when everything's about to blow up. Most of all, you want to help people sort out their messed-up shit — you're the person that everyone calls when they want to do an intervention on someone.
Star Trek: The 70s Saturday Morning Cartoon:
You're an explorer, but you never get into too much hot water. You like to hang out and watch TV with your cat and your friends, just as much as going out on the town. You don't really drink as much as you used to, and your friends are always worried that you're kind of regressing to childhood. You do a lot of drugs, but mostly just hallucinogens. You don't really have a problem with authority, and you kind of like it when your grandpa stops by — but you mostly just like hanging out with your friends. And your cat.
Star Trek: Movies w/ Original Cast:
Your life is one long series of losing things — and then getting them back, but losing other things in the process. Someone steals your car, and by the time you get your car back, you've lost your phone. You can't ever quite manage to win without losing. You like being in charge, but you hate having too much responsibility, and you wish you could just stay a middle manager forever. You like to laugh — but it's a wry, slightly bitter chuckle, not a belly laugh. Haters are always giving you a hard time, because they don't understand how awesome you are or because they blame you for stuff that happened when you weren't even there. Even when a hot naked android turns up in your shower, you can't really get too excited about it.
Star Trek: The Next Generation:
You're constantly trying to reach consensus with everybody, and it kind of drives people nuts but they also love you for it. Even when there's no actual conflict or there's just a small misunderstanding, you're like, "let's have a rap session. Let's have a house meeting. Let's go into the break room and have some oatmeal bars and hash things out." You just like having lots of meetings and making sure everybody is really friends. You also like to go hiking a lot, and hanging out at the mall. You like to play squash, and the mall has a squash court, which is just awesome. Also, you try to eat at every restaurant in the mall food court, because you want to be open to experiencing different cultures. You like chocolate a LOT. Also, you love culture, like Shakespeare. And landscape paintings. You like to hug everyone, and make sure all your friends like each other. You have a problem with bullies, especially bullies who try to force everyone to conform, or try to make everything about money.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:
You kind of hate everyone. Maybe you were picked on a lot when you were younger, or maybe your parents were immigrants who fled from persecution and then faced discrimination in their new home. Whatever the reason, you have a dim view of human nature and you don't want to take part in anyone's house meetings. You're obsessed with conspiracy theories that the CIA created AIDS, and the NSA is watching you in the shower. And you like to experiment with religion, especially like Kabbalah or anything New Age that involves lots of cool visions that THEY don't want you to see. But you also believe a strong military is needed (because of your dim view of human nature) and support getting tough with Russia and North Korea. You regard war as a natural extension of politics. You and your friends are constantly getting drunk and getting into fights and then making up and getting drunk again. You all cry together, a lot.
Star Trek: Voyager
Life is constantly presenting you with unfamiliar situations and weird people, and you don't really like it — you just want to go home. You're paranoid that foreigners will try and steal your car or take your job, but you also make a huge effort to be nice to everyone and try to understand their point of view, even though you know it'll never work out. You like to nurture people and help bring out the best in them, but you're never entirely sure if they want your mentorship or if they're just putting up with you. In general, you can't tell if people like you, and it makes you nervous — if people disagree with you, you'll change your opinion until the maximum number of people agree.
Star Trek: Enterprise
Everything is too frustrating and annoying. You see yourself as a great pioneer and explorer, going out and conquering new frontiers and breaking new ground in the name of discovery and exploration and stuff. But you're always getting dragged into people's confusing and nonsensical quarrels instead. Like for a year or two, this guy at work wanted to drag you into his interdepartmental battle with some shadowy figure who worked in another building, and you never even figured out what that was all about. Every time you're all set to make some cool discoveries, at work or on the weekends, someone calls a safety drill or convenes another boring meeting about not misusing office supplies. You want to escape from this dead-end life, but you don't know how.
Star Trek: Abrams Reboot
You're a diamond in the rough, baby. You just haven't achieved your full potential yet. You're still figuring out who you are and what you're about, but you already know deep down that you're the best -- at everything. Because you already know you're the best, you tend to blow things off while you go wind-surfing or hang-gliding or skateboarding — you love extreme sports! In general, you tend to wait until things get really really bad, and then you jump in and come up with some miraculous solution that shouldn't work but does. You have a huge temper and tend to get into brawls with friends, colleagues, strangers and small poodles — but then you hug and make up, and the whole misunderstanding just brings people that much closer to the eventual realization that you're the best. The Best. Now who wants to go do some extreme sports?
After nearly 50 years, Star Trek is still transporting us. But which Star Trek? There have been so many, and we all have our own favorites. It's not just generational, either — it's personal. Here's a handy* guide to what your favorite version of Star Trek says about you.:
Star Trek: The Original Show:
You love to go out every night and get into trouble. You like your Saurian brandy strong and your whiskey straight from the bottle. Sometimes you can't quite remember what happened the next day, and there are cameraphone videos of you acting "out of character" — almost as if you were duplicated by the transporter or affected by a weird goop or hit with bliss spores. But you always manage to laugh it off. You're loyal to your friends, but nobody can tell you what to do. You hate authority figures, especially old dudes. You like to get kind of baked and talk about philosophy and the nature of social evolution, but you're also really good at your job when everything's about to blow up. Most of all, you want to help people sort out their messed-up shit — you're the person that everyone calls when they want to do an intervention on someone.
Star Trek: The 70s Saturday Morning Cartoon:
You're an explorer, but you never get into too much hot water. You like to hang out and watch TV with your cat and your friends, just as much as going out on the town. You don't really drink as much as you used to, and your friends are always worried that you're kind of regressing to childhood. You do a lot of drugs, but mostly just hallucinogens. You don't really have a problem with authority, and you kind of like it when your grandpa stops by — but you mostly just like hanging out with your friends. And your cat.
Star Trek: Movies w/ Original Cast:
Your life is one long series of losing things — and then getting them back, but losing other things in the process. Someone steals your car, and by the time you get your car back, you've lost your phone. You can't ever quite manage to win without losing. You like being in charge, but you hate having too much responsibility, and you wish you could just stay a middle manager forever. You like to laugh — but it's a wry, slightly bitter chuckle, not a belly laugh. Haters are always giving you a hard time, because they don't understand how awesome you are or because they blame you for stuff that happened when you weren't even there. Even when a hot naked android turns up in your shower, you can't really get too excited about it.
Star Trek: The Next Generation:
You're constantly trying to reach consensus with everybody, and it kind of drives people nuts but they also love you for it. Even when there's no actual conflict or there's just a small misunderstanding, you're like, "let's have a rap session. Let's have a house meeting. Let's go into the break room and have some oatmeal bars and hash things out." You just like having lots of meetings and making sure everybody is really friends. You also like to go hiking a lot, and hanging out at the mall. You like to play squash, and the mall has a squash court, which is just awesome. Also, you try to eat at every restaurant in the mall food court, because you want to be open to experiencing different cultures. You like chocolate a LOT. Also, you love culture, like Shakespeare. And landscape paintings. You like to hug everyone, and make sure all your friends like each other. You have a problem with bullies, especially bullies who try to force everyone to conform, or try to make everything about money.
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine:
You kind of hate everyone. Maybe you were picked on a lot when you were younger, or maybe your parents were immigrants who fled from persecution and then faced discrimination in their new home. Whatever the reason, you have a dim view of human nature and you don't want to take part in anyone's house meetings. You're obsessed with conspiracy theories that the CIA created AIDS, and the NSA is watching you in the shower. And you like to experiment with religion, especially like Kabbalah or anything New Age that involves lots of cool visions that THEY don't want you to see. But you also believe a strong military is needed (because of your dim view of human nature) and support getting tough with Russia and North Korea. You regard war as a natural extension of politics. You and your friends are constantly getting drunk and getting into fights and then making up and getting drunk again. You all cry together, a lot.
Star Trek: Voyager
Life is constantly presenting you with unfamiliar situations and weird people, and you don't really like it — you just want to go home. You're paranoid that foreigners will try and steal your car or take your job, but you also make a huge effort to be nice to everyone and try to understand their point of view, even though you know it'll never work out. You like to nurture people and help bring out the best in them, but you're never entirely sure if they want your mentorship or if they're just putting up with you. In general, you can't tell if people like you, and it makes you nervous — if people disagree with you, you'll change your opinion until the maximum number of people agree.
Star Trek: Enterprise
Everything is too frustrating and annoying. You see yourself as a great pioneer and explorer, going out and conquering new frontiers and breaking new ground in the name of discovery and exploration and stuff. But you're always getting dragged into people's confusing and nonsensical quarrels instead. Like for a year or two, this guy at work wanted to drag you into his interdepartmental battle with some shadowy figure who worked in another building, and you never even figured out what that was all about. Every time you're all set to make some cool discoveries, at work or on the weekends, someone calls a safety drill or convenes another boring meeting about not misusing office supplies. You want to escape from this dead-end life, but you don't know how.
Star Trek: Abrams Reboot
You're a diamond in the rough, baby. You just haven't achieved your full potential yet. You're still figuring out who you are and what you're about, but you already know deep down that you're the best -- at everything. Because you already know you're the best, you tend to blow things off while you go wind-surfing or hang-gliding or skateboarding — you love extreme sports! In general, you tend to wait until things get really really bad, and then you jump in and come up with some miraculous solution that shouldn't work but does. You have a huge temper and tend to get into brawls with friends, colleagues, strangers and small poodles — but then you hug and make up, and the whole misunderstanding just brings people that much closer to the eventual realization that you're the best. The Best. Now who wants to go do some extreme sports?
