*sigh* Nightmares

The last two nights I've had the most horrible nightmares, and I don't know why.  I do not usually have bad dreams.

The first was some quite odd mish-mash dream that was connected -- to all things -- to Doctor Who.  I knew that I was in the TARDIS and was on the phone with my father.  I could hear him, and I so desperately wanted to tell him that I loved him.  I was sobbing that I loved him, and I missed him so, so much, and if only I could go back in time...

(Weirdly at this time I had not seen last week's Doctor Who, so it wasn't the episode that brought on the dream.  Just serendipity.  Although now having seen the episode, I totally empathized with Clara. I've been there, Clara.  It's awful.

I spent a nanosecond on Previously.TV's board last night after seeing the episode and saw a ton of Clara hate, and felt like I was terribly out of step because I totally understood where Clara was coming from and empathized with her rage at fate and The Doctor.  And I was bamboozled by the way that Previously.TV posters were claiming that Clara's behavior was a reflection of Moffat's misogyny -- which, to be honest, I've always found these fandom accusations somewhat hyperbolic to begin with but utterly mistifying in this instance).

Anyway, I know my dream the other night -- Doctor Who inclusive but not Doctor Who inspired -- is a grief dream.  I know this but it still hurts.

And last night I dreamed that my brother-in-law called telling me that my sister was dead.  It was not all that different than the way I found out about my father (though, of course, my sister is fine).  But it was a really disturbing, upsetting dream.

I could really do without such dreams.