shipperx | Things that make you go hmm...

When writing fanfic, do you ever have a character moment stuck in your head that you simply cannot resolve, and you're not sure why it's there in the first place? What's particularly strange about this detail is that it's part of a backstory which will quite probably never find its way into the actual fic (at least not in written form), it's just... it's in my head and I can't figure it out. And, what I did figure out isn't what I had initially intended.

I'm talking in circles aren't I?

Basically, while working on my current WIP (yeah, I am still working on it) I developed a backstory for Spike (and one for Buffy as well) spanning the years post-NFA to the point where this fic takes place (which happens to be 17 years after Chosen.) Part of Spike's backstory is that he fell in love with someone. I find it difficult to believe that a romantic like Spike wouldn't fall for someone in 17 years, and my initial intention was that he had found a bit of happiness with this someone.

Yeah, it didn't work out that way.

For whatever reason that the mind works the way that it does, the backstory went in its own direction and in my head the woman turned out to be a suicidal empath. I don't know why. And that's the thing I've been trying to work out. Why does Spike fall for women with a few screws loose?

I'm not talking about my vague backstory idea, I'm thinking about his canon love affairs. Dru's screws were falling out all over the floor, and then there's Buffy. I realize that her screws weren't completely out when he began falling for her, but by the time the two of them connected, Buffy had lost several screws and was in the process of losing more. In fact, that's probably one of the few areas of common ground between Dru and Buffy (that and neither of them treated Spike particularly well even if on some level they both loved him). What is it in Spike that leads him to loving women who are spectacularly messed up? Both women were at sea when they came together with Spike. Speeding past Dru's tortured backstory, in the scene immediately preceding her choice to vamp William, she was complaining of being lonely and lost, searching for a knight for her bats in the belfry princess. And we all know that Buffy was drowning in a sea of confusion when she began using Spike for comfort. And, like many drowning victims, she latched onto her lifeline, nearly pushing under the person swimming to help her. I think that's why my imaginary backstory took the unintentional turn that it did. Subconsciously, I hooked into that common ground between Dru and Buffy, even though this isn't really about Dru and Buffy. It's about Spike. What do these loves say about Spike? I don't have a grip on this idea or what it means. But it must mean something in my Spike characterization as it's apparently bubbling away somewhere in my subconscious.

Any ideas? What was Spike's affinity with screwed-up women?

Bueller?

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I think it's part of his mommy issues - he's attracted to women whom he has to care for in some way, but who are, in other ways, stronger than he is. His caretaking streak can be one of his best and noblest traits, but it can also be really self-destructive and lead to awful co-dependent crap. That's one of the reasons I find the possibility of Spike/Dana kind of interesting - crazy AND a Slayer; she's his dream girl *g*

Would go on at greater length, but I'm falling asleep.)

Totally understand the sleepiness issue. I can't think particularly straight at this hour either. And the whole Mommy issue thing is definitely a big chunk of my other unfinished WIP, so there's something in that in "my Spike" as well. I just don't feel like I have a good idea as to why this pattern keeps repeating with him. What ingrained it so much?

(And I also agree that Spike/Dana had potential... at least in theory. :)

He couldn't save his mommy, so he's saving his other women instead? And Dru was kind of his mommy, with his real mother gone she became his new mommy, the new center of his universe. The one he could dote upon. Also, I don't think Spike's much interested in the regular fodder. He likes them special, I'd think. The ones he actually likes anyways.

No one can claim mommy doesn't play a big part of who Spike is. I mean, when he came back in "Lover's Walk", did he kill Buffy's mom? No. He had hot cocoa. Now if you look at his mom's fascial bone structure, it's very similar to that of Joyce. That was the first thing that struck me when I saw that flashback episode. Does explain a lot, me thinks...

Also, I don't think Spike's much interested in the regular fodder. He likes them special,

In his mind they're certainly special. There is something to the caretaking thing. One of the major turning points with Spike was when Dawns (and Joyce's) protection was turned over to him when Buffy needed backup in Season 5.

I know. His mother was certainly special to him. Being his parent/mother, she was a rolemodel, someone strong/special. Her sickness meant he had to take care of her to a certain extent though. Dru the same, special and also strong/a rolemodel as she introduced him to a new world, freed him. Still, she was weak in her own way, so he could take care of her as well.

Spike's always given off an air of 'I don't give a sod what you think' and 'I don't like you people, sod off' -- still he needs attention, needs people around him, needs to matter to someone.

Very good point about his turnaround when he was entrusted with Buffy's family in s5. He allready had an affinity for Joyce(imo), and really started to care for Dawn as well.

Remember, too, that his mommy was really the only person, woman or otherwise, in his life, who loved him unconditionally. She listened to his craptastic poetry, told him how wonderful he was, and supported his interest in Cecily. When he vamped her and she turned on him, it froze him at that stage: in trying to help the only caring woman in his life he made a huge mistake and and he feels he must pay penance by continuing to fall in love with women who have loose screws, and he might feel undeserving of a normal, loving relationship.

in trying to help the only caring woman in his life he made a huge mistake and and he feels he must pay penance by continuing to fall in love with women who have loose screws, and he might feel undeserving of a normal, loving relationship.

Pre-soul did he feel undeserving, though?

I do think there's something to the imprinting. It was his role in life and perhaps that's why its his role in death.

I dunno.

Pre-soul did he feel undeserving, though?

Good question. According to canon, pre-soul would be Dru (sire as mommy) and Harmony (Buffy substitute or easy lay?)

Harmony, though not crazy, was an air-head and eye candy. I can't see that he wanted to fix or help her in any way. In fact, he was very cruel to her. I think she was a target for his frustration re: Dru breaking up with him and later, a stand-in for Buffy.

I'm down with the Mommy Issues.

Heh! Seems to be the growing consensus.

Maybe it's some kind of imprinting? Dru sired him and therefore he'll always have this affinity to crazy women, just as Angel does to small green-eyed blondes?

Well, maybe not. I think

rahirah probably has the right of it.

I do tend to think that there was something about his seeing himself as a caretaker for his ailing mother (even if she was also taking care of him) and how that's influenced things. I particularly liked sp's point that on the one hand he was caring for an ailing mother. On the other hand, a mother is a figure of authority to a boy, and this may influence his urge to care for women of strenght who are in a destructive phase.

He's a carer in life and it informed what he became.

I do think that's a thru-line with him.

I read it as a balance issue. Spike has this capacity for abandoning himself to the needs of his beloved, therefore he can cope with needy beloveds. Wouldn't be much of a story if the needy beloved wasn't also Worthy of the loving, or if the resolution were easy. The bigger his heart is, the bigger it has to be. Just my 2c.

Well, he also always had grandiose dreams. Then again, you're right, he also had a grand capacity to love.

Well he was a care giver who needed to be needed. Even as a ghost with Angel he was going nuts until given something to do to help. Add a dash of attraction and voila a romantic, loving guy with a mission of love. Just one thought.

Kathleen

Oh yeah, that's definitely a thing with Spike. He likes to pretend he's anti-social, but for a loner and rebel without a cause, he sure seeks out relationships and gravitates toward trying to reach impossible goals.

Well, everyone's already said what I think. It all comes back to his love for his mother, his care for her when she was dying of consumption, his turning her to save her and then having to kill her, and his need to help/care for the woman he loves.

I think that is also why he falls for women stronger than him. After all, a little boy's mother is stronger than he. And even though she was dying, I think he probably admired the way Anne faced her death with strength of character even as he was caring for her. Dru, for all her crazy, was a very powerful vampire. Buffy was the Slayer. They were both powerful, but then they were weak, and Spike could care for them, thus awakening William the Caregiver.

It all comes back to his love for his mother, his care for her when she was dying of consumption, his turning her to save her and then having to kill her, and his need to help/care for the woman he loves.

I think that is also why he falls for women stronger than him. After all, a little boy's mother is stronger than he.

Ooh! I really like that. I think you're onto something.

Things that make you go hmm...

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To those with great gifts, great challenges

Re: To those with great gifts, great challenges

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