So If You Want To Know How 'Insatiable' Ended

[shipperx]

So, yes, I know that I should have bailed on this book ages ago, but I was so far in. I just wanted to know how it ended.

So if you want to know how it ended...

I believe my poll revealed that the heroine was dumb as a rock and went to the coronation of the villain without telling anyone and without forming any sort of plan. She then needed rescuing by both male leads and her brother. Hunky vampire boyfriend literally turned into a dragon!!! (I need one of those "Twilight Season 8 means never having to say you're kidding" icons). Hulk smash Dragon tears down a church. Hunky Vampire Slayer is injured rescuing the heroine from certain death. She makes a tourniquet (such is her contribution to the 'vampire war'... you know, other than being a hostage.) Vampire Slayer is now in love with the heroine that he's known for a perhaps a touch more than twenty-four hours. (Which at least makes him a more difficult get than the vampire that's in true, eternal love with her after a dinner party). Vampire Slayer gets the Vatican to make the heroine a job offer to be part of the vampire slaying crew, because... did I forget to mention that everyone in charge of her soap opera and daytime programming are now vampires too? (The writer even has the heroine draw parallels between vampires and the youth-obsessed soaps and their hawking of beauty products.)

But heroine has one last thing to do...

She goes home and finds that the hunky vampire has repaired everything that is broken in her apartment and wants brownie points for not having killed the heroine's brother or the vampire slayer. And heroine has an epiphany that the vampire is obsessively controlling, ya'll! He wants to 'protect her' to death! And run-away to Thailand. But basically she's bothered about the 'protect her to death part.' He wants to take care of her and doesn't think she needs a job or anything. And he'll turn her so that she'll never grow old. Because vampires are misogynists. We're told that in the beginning and here we are putting a fine point on it. Turns out hunky 530 year old vampires are very patriarchally patronizing, controlling, and have anger issues. But the heroine realizes that she doesn't want to die for beauty or for love. She's taking the job at the Vatican with the other sexist dude, the one who goes around wrestling women onto their beds, yanking up their skirts while they yell, and lecturing them on their sex lives.

Actually, that's probably a bit more snarky than I intend. The final scene where the heroine realizes that the vampire is obsessive, controlling, and patronizing was actually fairly enjoyable. Wish the whole book had backed that up through characterization rather than the heroine constantly bitching about monster misogynists. Show don't tell, people. There could have been some good satire going on, but instead of seeming satirical, it mostly came across as being dumb.

But the vampire (at this point any of the vampires would do) was at last a tiny bit scary at the end... when we saw his controlling side. More could have been done with this! Why wasn't more done with this? Why was most of the book the heroine being a starry-eyed, useless moron? And, I'm still not sure whether the writer realizes that all the guys in this book are douches, and not just the vampire.

And for the love of freaking God, stop calling that dog it's full name every freaking five seconds!!!!!! Guh!

Comments

[quinara]

Hunky vampire boyfriend literally turned into a dragon!!!

Um, is it bad that this sounds pretty damn kickarse??? Can this be the new blood tears/claiming/My Childer phenomenon, plz plz plz???

(Otherwise it sounds appalling.)

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Hee! It probably is better than claiming.

I remember in some throw away scene in one of the Harry Dresden novels, Harry met a Dragon that was a man. He was so cool! I keep wanting the dragon to resurface again and get a story.

[quinara]

He was so cool! I keep wanting the dragon to resurface again and get a story.

Ooh, that should have happened! I think I've read something before where dragons can take the form of humans, and it was pretty cool... Though I tend to prefer dragons stomping around as dragons (sometimes with the ability of psychic speech).

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I have to admit to once having read some piece of erotica where there was a dragon that was also a man and...yeah... Not as kinky as fanfic sometimes gets, but it was certainly a change of pace from Vampires.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

I know your pain, I just polished off The Passage and it truly felt like a passage. Overlong, badly edited and the most interesting character pushed off in favor of far more boring ones.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

The Passage sucks too?

Damn, what is with book reviewers these days? From the reviews I was thinking about reading that one next. Good to know that it's not worth it.

[petzipellepingo.livejournal.com]

beanbeans adored it so don't go by my word. My big complaint was that the most interesting character (a little girl) vanishes after the first third of the book and then just pops up towards the end. I wanted to know what she's been doing more than I cared about the people she's now with.

[silverusagi]

I salute you for making it through.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Salute or mock? Mock may be more appropriate. :)

[rahirah]

You're a braver fan than I am, Gunga Din.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Hee! After the female lead met the vampire it was allllll badfic. :)

[hazel75.livejournal.com]

How much do I wish that Robin McKinley would write sequel to Sunshine?!? Because that's been the only really, *good* vampire book to come out in forever.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I haven't read that. I'll have to check it out.

[hazel75.livejournal.com]

I *loved* it -- have reread it several times. It's a step or two above chick-lit, in my opinion.