Really?! ... With Seth and Amy

[shipperx]

From SNL and "Hulu":

Transcript (quickly transcribed. I do my best but it's quick [..]  are parenthetical comments by myself):

This week the birth control debate came to the forefront again after Congressman Darrell [The one who wants to impeach Obama... for... yeah... that's what he keeps searching for]  Issa called a hearing on President Obama's healthcare mandate [that insurance companies cover contraception, regardless of employer]  but [Issa's hearing] failed to invite any women [actually democrats invited women.  Issa dis-invited them, saying they weren't needed (or wanted)].  That brings us to a panel we like to call "Really!?! with Seth and Amy"


AMY: Really, congress?  Really?  You held a congressional hearing on reproductive rights and did not invite any women.  Really.  That would like not inviting any man on a congressional hearing of the Maxam Top 100.


SETH: Really.  And men have to be smarter when they talk about birth control.  This week when Foster Friess, the billionaire backer funding [Presidential whackadoodle candidate] Rick Santorum, joked that [contraception is cheap because] when he was young women simply held an aspirin between their knees for birth control -- good one -- but do you really want to start a discussion of healthcare with 'when I was young'?  When you were young people died of polio.  I mean, really.

 
AMY: Really.  Later in the week Friess apologized for his comments. Well, we'd love to accept your apology, Foster, but you made a mistake and now you have to live with that mistake for the rest of your life. Really.


SETH:  Really. 


{...}

SETH:  Meanwhile both Gringrich and Rick Santorum use 'the rhythm method, and with five kids and eight kids respectively, it seems like they might have even less rhythm than we thought. Really.



AMY: Really.  The Virgina House of Representatives passed a law this week that requires women to have a transvaginal ultrasound before having an abortion [or as it's been labeled by opponents the "the state mandated rape law" because... there is absolutely no medical reason for this procedure.  This isn't a normal ultrasound (and a normal ultrasound would do) so it's not just for the shock and awe of having the woman have an ultrasound of the fetus. A normal ultrasound would accomplish that  No, this is physical penetration.  Mandated by law.  When someone proposed that it be left up to the doctor  to see  as to whether they could simply do the regular ultrasound to obtain the image and stipulate a requirement for a woman's written consent first, it was voted down by the Republican majority.  In Texas, doctors sued over being required to do this.  Virginia is doing it anyway.  And again, this is medically uneccessary.  Even if they required an ultrasound, to do this vaginally is medically unecessary.  When questioned about this, the comment was that if the woman had consented to sex then she had already consented to this sort of invasion.  Apparently consent to sex is blanket consent for all eternity and for anything to be placed inside her...regardless of her consent of the doctors consent.   And considering that it's medically unecessary, its purpose has nothing to do with its stated purpose.  It's either intended for the scare factor to discourage women or the humiliation/punishment factor for these women {{ETA: and apparently the women aren't even required to LOOK at the ultrasound so that isn't the purpose for this ultrasound. I guess, they just want to sodomize women}}} because -- one more time -- there is no medical need for this!]  Really.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I love 'transVaginal'.  It's my favorite airline. I've got so many miles on transvaginal that I always get upgraded to "Lady Business."


SETH:  Really?

AMY:  Really.


SETH: But Virginia wasn't done.  They also passed a law saying that life begins at conception [not even 'implantation' in the uteran wall. Just fertilization.  This could potentially  ban in vitro infertility treatments and most forms of contraception including IUDs and even hormonal contraception such as the Pill.]  What's next?  Life begins at 'last call'?  Life begins when you click 'send' on your Match.com profile?   I mean, really.


AMY: Really.  Mike Huckabee joined the fight against the [health insurance] mandate saying 'We're all Catholic now.'  Really?  Want to know who's not 'all Catholic now'?  All Catholics now.  98% of Catholic women say that they've used [non-rhythm-method] birth control and the other two are always trying to start a church softball team. 


SETH:  Really.


AMY: Don't tell me what to do!!

Comments

[molly_may]

Loved this segment. Love Amy Poehler's "Don't tell me what to do!" at the end, because it felt completely unscripted, just a natural outpouring of her frustration.

When questioned about this, the comment was that if the woman had consented to sex then she had already consented to this sort of invasion.

I read that quote just this morning, and I think my jaw literally dropped. I don't know how I still have the capacity to be shocked over Republicans making statements like this; possibly it's that I keep thinking they've sunk to the lowest level possible, but somehow they keep surprising me by sinking even lower.

I can say this for the Republicans though: they sure have gotten me fired up to go to the polls and cast my vote for Obama.

[ladypeyton.livejournal.com]

I want to know when we can start shoving things up men's asses because they've consented to sex.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I liked the one about their replacing Viagra with an aspirin. They could shove it up their penis, backing up the blood and then they'd have an erection alright.

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

IIRC one Virginia representative, realising the bill would go through, tried to add an amendment to the new law stating that all men who ask their doctors for Viagra must consent to a rectal exam. Sadly, the others had that one removed since they couldn't see how that was at all relevant. So yeah, sarcasm is officially dead.

I cannot believe stuff like this can happen.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

So yeah, sarcasm is officially dead.

Tends to happen when reality surpasses parody.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

We've just been discussing this, my daughter, husband and I.

We have concluded that any male who has consented to het sex (and I can't imagine these particular Virginians believe in any other sort...) has clearly consented to sticking his penis into something. We thought it could be made compulsory that all married, male Virginian Representatives, and any where a female comes forward to say she has had sex with him, that they stick their penis into something ... and suggest they start with a blender.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Blender would work. So would a taser.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I think they drank a few drabs too much from the crazy-juice tree.

[shapinglight]

Oh dear lord. I think parts of your country have gone nuts.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

That's my reaction every time I read about this.

I begin to worry that these people's actual agenda is

1. Force American women to breed - look how well that worked in Romania...
2. Reduce world over population by nuking everyone who looks at them a bit funny...

So ensuring the future world is full of 'good, God-fearing Americans'!

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Is this a subtle request for me to hunt down that Colbert clip of Whackadoodle Santorum saying that Satan is plotting all of this because the U.S. is the only 'good' country so Satan is trying to seduce and destroy us? 'Cause I can do it...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

I think I'll cope without it. Your country is just so weird - the way they actually allow people like that to be taken seriously to the point where they introduce totally barbaric laws.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

If it's any comfort all the polls show that the general populace is massively against these contraceptive measures.

Unfortunately, most of the population are also hard to get off their keisters and teh crazees were in a tizzy in 2010, so we have some genuine polished turd-blossoms in state and federal legislatures.

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

that the general populace is massively against these contraceptive measures.


But it doesn't seem to have stopped this becoming law... There is something wrong there somewhere.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Well the governor who -- up until yesterday was saying he was going to sign it into law -- announced today that he'd 'probably' veto it. But they've also sent it back to committee... after more than 1000 women arrived on the steps staging a silent protest of the law. Well, that and the shitload of bad publicity they've got. (it's mostly the second one).

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Virginia's governor today announced that he'd 'probably' veto the law... if it reaches his desk. It's gone back to committee for 'changes' (after more than 1000 women staged a protest on the legislature's steps... and Virginia got a shit-load of bad publicity. Mostly the second one).

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

As it popped up on my reading list... here it is anyway. (Colbert does satire)

The Colbert Report (http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/408774/february-20-2012/indecision-2012---rick-santorum-s-energy-war-alarm)
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes (http://www.colbertnation.com/full-episodes/),Political Humor & Satire Blog (http://www.indecisionforever.com/),Video Archive (http://www.colbertnation.com/video)

Partial Transcript:
Colbert: As I was saying earlier, Rick Santorum is the new front runner in the Republican primary, leading national polls. I would say that he's come from behind, but he's morally against 'coming from behind.' And folks, we need a commander who knows the truth about this great country, that we're at war... with... something. All the time. And nobody sounds the war alarm for more reasons, than Rick Santorum. Case in point, this D-day landing on President Obama.

Santorum Clip: {clipped for brevity} it's not about you! It's not about you! It's about some phony 'ideal.' Some phony theology. Oh, not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology.

Colbert: Yes, I agree with that one man clapping. President Obama's energy policy is based on theology. President Santorums would be based on the Bible. You want an alternative fuel? Try a burning bush. Burns forever. Never uses up the wood. Next! Now, Santorum has taken some heat over these comments. But yesterday Rick went on Face the Schieffer to face the Schieff.

Schieffer clip: So Senator, I've got to ask, what in the world were you talking about?

(clipped for brevity)

Colbert: But folks, the environmentlists aren't the only war we're fighting. Rick has known since 2008 that there is a bigger conflict coming...

Santorum Clip: This is not a political war at all. This is not a cultural war at all. This is a spiritual war, and the father of lies has his sights on what you would think the father of lies, Satan, would have his sights on -- a good, decent, powerful, influential country. The United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age? There is no one else to go after other than the United States.

Colbert: That's right folks, the only one Satan is attacking is us. God's favorite country. All the bad stuff happening in the other parts of the world -- starvation, genocide, slavery -- that's not Satan. So it must be God working in mysterious ways. But raising the U.S. marginal tax rate on the top 1%, folks, that's why the serpeant got into this game. Satan loves big government. What was the apple but the original food stamp?...

[curiouswombat.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, words fail me....

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's a reason he lost his seat in the Senate by a landslide. I'm serious when I say he's whackadoodle.

It's just that the folks voting in this primary are the rightest of the right wingers with a significant number of whackadoodle.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think parts of the country have been nuts for a while they just were convinced to let it fly free after the Republicans got desperate and started stirring up shit in hopes of unseating Obama.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I love you for being another person who can't spell “rhythm”. (I looked it up because despite being smart and able to spell almost everything else, as spelling bee victories in my past show, I can't spell this word.) :D

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I've owned being a horrible speller for my entire life. In high school I just carried a small pocket dictionary. Teachers never turned down the request of "can I use it to look up the correct spelling?"

And that word needs more vowels, damn it! ;)

[pamsblau.livejournal.com]

AMY: Don't tell me what to do!!

I couldn't watch the vid for some reason but this part cracked me up! I mean, really? lol

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I liked that part too.