Book Stuff

May. 16th, 2012 10:10 pm
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1) After seeing the trailer, I thought "what the hell". I was in the mood for campy, and how could Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter not be campy?

Well, I haven't finished the book (who knows if I ever will), but I can say it's not nearly as amusing as it should be. The writer clearly views history as a sequence of events and that's the way he combined it into the story... which is to say it's both dry and dull. I recognize some of the bare bones of history woven into the perfectly ludicrous plot (seriously, the U.S. is lousy with vampires in the novel) but none of it rises to the level of campiness that's needed to pull off that title. A title like that demands camp.

Instead we have an Abe Lincoln full to the brim with man-pain. Jeez. Real Lincoln probably had several bouts of clinical depression during his life, but they weren't fueled by simplistic man-pain. I mean, in a book "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" the most cliched and ludicrous thing should be that he's HUNTING VAMPIRES. Instead the (second) most offensive thing in the story is that Lincoln is reduced having a host of DADDY ISSUES! You see, he hates his father. He really, really hate his father. A lot. And he hates his father for killing Mommy. Except Daddy didn't actually kill Mommy. Daddy took out a loan... with a vampire. Only Daddy didn't know his loan was from a vampire (and Daddy's daddy was also killed by a vampire. But that's not nearly as rare as it should be because, again, the U.S. is lousy with vampires)... one wonders what Lincoln's reaction would've been if Daddy's loan had been from real vampires like Countrywide or Goldman Sachs...

So, anyway, Daddy took out a loan with a guy who eventually was revealed to be a vampire, and rather than foreclose on Daddy's house, vampire killed Mommy. Thus fueling a lifetime of vengeance and Daddy issues for ol' Abe Lincoln. (Did I mention tha the really, really resented his Daddy? How much he hates his Daddy -- and other 'shiftless' types takes up a lot of ink. I didn't think that Lincoln would be such a whiney dick.)

Mind you, I say the obsessive daddy issues are the second most bothersome part of the novel because the first (and the reason I can't quite bring myself to finish reading the novel) is that the thing that apparently most bothers Lincoln about slavery is... the vampires. Not the SLAVERY on it's own. Sure, that's unsettling to him. But the fact that vampires are buying them for food (because...working them to death is better...?)

Yeah. That's the primary problem with slavery. The vampires.

...actually it strikes me that vampirism could indeed be a good metaphor for slavery... but NOT the way that this book is handling it, which is just as superficial as the title would imply.

I haven't reached the Civil War yet in the book (but even on the dust jaket it implies that Stephen Douglas... worked for the vampires). Heck, I haven't even gotten to Lincoln making it to the White House. He's still a young, surly, (serial killing!) man-pain riddled dude covered in Daddy issues who goes out on the word of one vampire to murder other vampires based on... letters sent to him by a vampire. Frankly, I'm not sure how Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter wasn't arrested as a serial killer because he spends a lot of time offing folks because, again, the U.S. is lousy with vampires.

What I'm saying is that the book is not good. And I mean that in the "so bad it's good" way, because that's really the only expectation that I had. That it could be bad enough to be funny. Instead I find it only to be offensive and dull.





2) So I opted out Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (not long after Abe met Edgar Allan Poe who -- as one would imagine -- is fascinated by the idea of vampires) and have read Johnny and the Dead by Terry Pratchett instead ( Yes, it's in his line of kids books). Johnny and the Dead is apparently part of the same trilogy as Only You Can Save Mankind, which was an amusing book about a kid playing video games only to realize that the characters in the game were real... and really in danger. Oh, and were aliens. It's Pratchett. It's meant to be amusing.

So, anyway, Johnny and the Dead (kid's book and all) reminded me a great deal of Neil Gaiman's The Graveyard Book about a boy being raised by a friendly pair of ghosts and a vampire.

Pratchett's story was basically a kid 'can see dead people,' whose graveyard is about to be built upon and since the kid had seen Stephen Speilberg's "Poltergeist" this strikes him as a really bad idea. Of course The Dead in the book are all actually quite personable and there's a few nice musings on the meaning of life and death and how it's good for the living to remember the dead, but that the dead don't need to remember. They're part of the Universe now, and while there may be no angels or Pearly Gates, the Universe is a great unknown (emphasis on great), and that's what's interesting...even for the dead.





3) Currently, I'm reading The Lost Wife.

Having read Pratchett for lite amusement, I was now in the mood for a love story, and this one looks promising.

In 1930s Prague, Josef and Lenka are youngsters in the throes of first love even as the Nazis are beginning to take over their country. As Czechoslovakia falls, Josef's family attempts to buy passports and papers to escape to the U.S. Josef begs Lenka to marry him so that she can go with him. She insists that there be papers for her entire family, only that's impossible, of course. When the time comes, Lenka cannot leave her family (her father begging her to go is heartbreaking) meaning the young lovers are separated, each eventually convinced that the other has died during the war.

In the 1980s, Josef attends the wedding of his grandson where he meets the bride's grandmother... Lenka.

The story isn't exactly linear, as it starts in the 1980s then leaps back to Lenka's happy childhood in Prague in the 1920s. Then it leaps around the timeline some more.

Ultimately the story follows both Josef and Lenka through the war (Josef was on a ship leaving [England after escaping] Czechoslovakia that was sunk by the Nazis and Lenka somehow survived Auschwitz, to how they deal with the loss of their families, each other, and their world...their survivor's guilt, and how each met and married their second spouses (Josef married another ex-pat survivor. Lenka married an American soldier).

And, of course, how they met again on their grandchildren's wedding day.

Verdict so far: Have tissues handy. You'll need them. More than once.

Date: 2012-05-17 07:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] petzipellepingo.livejournal.com
If you want campy, try the President's Vampire series . Silly but much better writing.

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