Family 1 -- Every bad Southern cliche. She's a "children should be seen not heard" mother who hasn't slept in the same bed with her husband in 10 years. Her hubby is "good ol' boy" times ten.
Family 2 -- Hubby is an environmentalist who wears dreadlocks... and he's a white man. She's Animal rights activist who does nothing but watch Dr. Phil and hang out on animal activist message boards. She cleans "once a year" ignoring huge piles of laundry, dishes, and trash. As well as the yard where 90% of the grass is dead.
They swap .
Red Neck Wife freaks because Tree Hugger house is FILTHY.
Tree hugging wife walks into Red Neck house and bursts into tears --make that hysterical sobs-- and proceeds to apologize to the DEAD DEER HEAD! (Um... honey, I really don't think the DEAD DEER can hear you!)
Red Neck wife finds TMI about the Tree Hugging Wife's sex life. Later finds that Tree Hugging Wife doesn't get up in the morning to make breakfast...or take her kid to school. . .or. . .well, anything. She stays in bed until 10 to 11. Child has to make due on her own & Hubby drives kid to school.
Tree Hugging Wife bursts into tears because she has to get up and drive Red Neck kids to school and then (gasp!) she has to go to work. . .all day! She doesn't like this "work" stuff. Doesn't like it one bit. She sobs that she's been "turned into a slave."
Red Neck Wife bitches that Tree Hugging kid talks. Red Neck Wife asks what -- if anything -- Tree Hugging Wife DOES all day. Tree hugging hubby searches valiently to think of. . .um. . . "she feeds the dogs." Anything else? "She gives them water."
Week 2 and the wives can now set new house rules.
Tree Hugging Wife decides Red Neck family should remove taxidermied animals from the house (good). Then she sobs uncontrollably as they pack up the stuffed ducks and EULOGIZES the animals(weird) Red Neck Hubby burps whiles she's quoting St. Frances to dead ducks(funny).
Hugging Wife decides Red Neck should remove Rebel Flag from the front porch. Red Neck Hubby takes flag and hangs it on "Mamma's" porch across the street.
Red Neck Wife forces Tree Hugging Hubby to hang an American Flag (tree hugging hubby isn't happy).
Red Neck Wife lectures Tree Hugging Kid to not speak at the dinner table, to always call her ma'am, and to do a long list of chores.
Red Neck Wife forces the Tree Hugging family's indoor dogs to stay outside.
Tree Hugging Wife bursts into tears over having to like. . .work and stuff. And (gasp!) She has to see the family! Horror! Horror! (Well, okay, it did look just a wee bit like Deliverance...)
Tree Hugging Hubby brings home flowers as peace offering. Red Neck Wife harragues him that he doesn't have a clean vase in the house (admittedly, the vase did have green algae growing in it). Tree Hugging Hubby bursts into tears saying that Red Neck Wife is a "very negative person."
Red Neck Hubby tries to make a peace offering to Tree Hugging wife. . . who bursts into tears telling him that in 10 days he's "sucked the life out of her" and that he has no doubt "sucked the life" out of his real wife too.
Red Neck wife goes in search of errant kiddie who hasn't done her chores. Tree Hugging kiddie promptly hides under the bed and calls RNW "that devil woman."
Both couples meet to swap back wives. Red Neck hubby tells Tree Hugging Wife that she's "don't got the stuff" to be real Southern,and should go back to where she belongs (which was. . . Arkansas. Er... not exactly Yankee land, bubba.) Tree Hugging Hubby calls Red Neck wife a controlling, miserable woman (I would have thought "Nazi" would have been fair). Red Neck Woman sits smirking. Red Neck Hubby says Tree Hugging Hubby should go live with the aborigines with that hairdo. Name calling ensues. Tree Hugging Wife screams at the other family (scary) and bursts into a hysterical sobbing (annoying)
... Cut to life 3 months later:
Red Neck Hubby says he doesn't hunt... as much.
Tree Hugging Wife says that they've become vegetarians. . .
Horrible people *spit* we will speak of them No More!
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2004-10-06 08:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-10-06 09:25 pm (UTC)Family 2 -- Hubby is an environmentalist who wears dreadlocks... and he's a white man. She's Animal rights activist who does nothing but watch Dr. Phil and hang out on animal activist message boards. She cleans "once a year" ignoring huge piles of laundry, dishes, and trash. As well as the yard where 90% of the grass is dead.
They swap .
Red Neck Wife freaks because Tree Hugger house is FILTHY.
Tree hugging wife walks into Red Neck house and bursts into tears --make that hysterical sobs-- and proceeds to apologize to the DEAD DEER HEAD! (Um... honey, I really don't think the DEAD DEER can hear you!)
Red Neck wife finds TMI about the Tree Hugging Wife's sex life. Later finds that Tree Hugging Wife doesn't get up in the morning to make breakfast...or take her kid to school. . .or. . .well, anything. She stays in bed until 10 to 11. Child has to make due on her own & Hubby drives kid to school.
Tree Hugging Wife bursts into tears because she has to get up and drive Red Neck kids to school and then (gasp!) she has to go to work. . .all day! She doesn't like this "work" stuff. Doesn't like it one bit. She sobs that she's been "turned into a slave."
Red Neck Wife bitches that Tree Hugging kid talks. Red Neck Wife asks what -- if anything -- Tree Hugging Wife DOES all day. Tree hugging hubby searches valiently to think of. . .um. . . "she feeds the dogs." Anything else? "She gives them water."
Week 2 and the wives can now set new house rules.
Tree Hugging Wife decides Red Neck family should remove taxidermied animals from the house (good). Then she sobs uncontrollably as they pack up the stuffed ducks and EULOGIZES the animals(weird) Red Neck Hubby burps whiles she's quoting St. Frances to dead ducks(funny).
Hugging Wife decides Red Neck should remove Rebel Flag from the front porch. Red Neck Hubby takes flag and hangs it on "Mamma's" porch across the street.
Red Neck Wife forces Tree Hugging Hubby to hang an American Flag (tree hugging hubby isn't happy).
Red Neck Wife lectures Tree Hugging Kid to not speak at the dinner table, to always call her ma'am, and to do a long list of chores.
Red Neck Wife forces the Tree Hugging family's indoor dogs to stay outside.
Tree Hugging Wife bursts into tears over having to like. . .work and stuff. And (gasp!) She has to see the family! Horror! Horror! (Well, okay, it did look just a wee bit like Deliverance...)
Tree Hugging Hubby brings home flowers as peace offering. Red Neck Wife harragues him that he doesn't have a clean vase in the house (admittedly, the vase did have green algae growing in it). Tree Hugging Hubby bursts into tears saying that Red Neck Wife is a "very negative person."
Red Neck Hubby tries to make a peace offering to Tree Hugging wife. . . who bursts into tears telling him that in 10 days he's "sucked the life out of her" and that he has no doubt "sucked the life" out of his real wife too.
Red Neck wife goes in search of errant kiddie who hasn't done her chores. Tree Hugging kiddie promptly hides under the bed and calls RNW "that devil woman."
Both couples meet to swap back wives. Red Neck hubby tells Tree Hugging Wife that she's "don't got the stuff" to be real Southern,and should go back to where she belongs (which was. . . Arkansas. Er... not exactly Yankee land, bubba.) Tree Hugging Hubby calls Red Neck wife a controlling, miserable woman (I would have thought "Nazi" would have been fair). Red Neck Woman sits smirking. Red Neck Hubby says Tree Hugging Hubby should go live with the aborigines with that hairdo. Name calling ensues. Tree Hugging Wife screams at the other family (scary) and bursts into a hysterical sobbing (annoying)
... Cut to life 3 months later:
Red Neck Hubby says he doesn't hunt... as much.
Tree Hugging Wife says that they've become vegetarians. . .
Horrible people *spit* we will speak of them No More!
no subject
Date: 2004-10-06 08:44 pm (UTC)