Beneath You

Home for my day off. Caught the end of "Beneath You" playing on FX. Usually I avoid watching BtVS reruns as if they are toxic, but I recognized it as the scene where Buffy was about to find Spike in the church.

God, that scene still guts me. The stuff about "Am I flesh to you?" I still interpret that as Spike realizing that Buffy had basically used him as a prostitute in Season 6. And Spike's pain and sacrifice-- he had truly eviscerated himself in desperation and remorse. It still brings me to tears. And the moments with Buffy still strike me as being about Angel. Spike did this out of love of her, what Buffy is thinking is 'how could Spike do this? Why didn't Angel? I wanted Angel to do this" (At least that's how I always end up interpreting the [rare and thus significant] flashes of emotion that Buffy displays.)

Poor Spike. It kills me how much he simply wanted to be loved.

I'm in tears by the time he's to "Can we rest now?" And I wonder how Buffy could have been so heartless as to leave him there. Then again, I'm not prone to be overly kind in interpreting her actions. I give Buffy the upset at the beginning of the scene, but by the end? How could she just leave him there on the cross?

Anyway, JM did a phenomenal job. ::sniffle:: Poor Spike.

Beneath You

Home for my day off. Caught the end of "Beneath You" playing on FX. Usually I avoid watching BtVS reruns as if they are toxic, but I recognized it as the scene where Buffy was about to find Spike in the church.

God, that scene still guts me. The stuff about "Am I flesh to you?" I still interpret that as Spike realizing that Buffy had basically used him as a prostitute in Season 6. And Spike's pain and sacrifice-- he had truly eviscerated himself in desperation and remorse. It still brings me to tears. And the moments with Buffy still strike me as being about Angel. Spike did this out of love of her, what Buffy is thinking is 'how could Spike do this? Why didn't Angel? I wanted Angel to do this" (At least that's how I always end up interpreting the [rare and thus significant] flashes of emotion that Buffy displays.)

Poor Spike. It kills me how much he simply wanted to be loved.

I'm in tears by the time he's to "Can we rest now?" And I wonder how Buffy could have been so heartless as to leave him there. Then again, I'm not prone to be overly kind in interpreting her actions. I give Buffy the upset at the beginning of the scene, but by the end? How could she just leave him there on the cross?

Anyway, JM did a phenomenal job. ::sniffle:: Poor Spike.

Beneath You

Home for my day off. Caught the end of "Beneath You" playing on FX. Usually I avoid watching BtVS reruns as if they are toxic, but I recognized it as the scene where Buffy was about to find Spike in the church.

God, that scene still guts me. The stuff about "Am I flesh to you?" I still interpret that as Spike realizing that Buffy had basically used him as a prostitute in Season 6. And Spike's pain and sacrifice-- he had truly eviscerated himself in desperation and remorse. It still brings me to tears. And the moments with Buffy still strike me as being about Angel. Spike did this out of love of her, what Buffy is thinking is 'how could Spike do this? Why didn't Angel? I wanted Angel to do this" (At least that's how I always end up interpreting the [rare and thus significant] flashes of emotion that Buffy displays.)

Poor Spike. It kills me how much he simply wanted to be loved.

I'm in tears by the time he's to "Can we rest now?" And I wonder how Buffy could have been so heartless as to leave him there. Then again, I'm not prone to be overly kind in interpreting her actions. I give Buffy the upset at the beginning of the scene, but by the end? How could she just leave him there on the cross?

Anyway, JM did a phenomenal job. ::sniffle:: Poor Spike.