Internet Wanksplosion in 5...4...3...2...

[shipperx]

From EW. com:

A Joss Whedon-less 'Buffy' movie: Worst idea ever of the year

May 26, 2009, 12:22 AM | by Marc Bernardin

Categories: Buffy, Hell to the no!, Things That Make Me Die Inside

According to the Hollywood Reporter, the rights holders of Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- which began as the 1992 crapmound film starring Kristy Swanson and was later transformed by writer Joss Whedon into one of the touchstone TV series of the last 25 years -- are planning a remake/relaunch. Now, fans of the Buffyverse have been clamoring for a feature extension ever since the show's end in 2003; and they've made the Whedon-overseen comic books best sellers. Whedon has long been the hand on the wheel of the Buffy franchise, and his cultish fanbase are legion.

That raucous sound you hear is that fanbase currently consulting an engineer to figure out exactly how to support all of the hell they're gonna raise. Because -- get this -- Whedon isn't involved. AT ALL.

According to the news item, the producers aren't against the idea of Whedon's involvement, but they haven't "reached out to him." What's more, this new "film" would have no connection with the TV series, nor would it feature any of the show's robust supporting cast. In other words, they'd be jettisoning everything and everyone that made Buffy work. I swear, sometimes it's as if Hollywood sets out with "failure" plugged right into the GPS.

The only reason that Buffy remains a viable franchise is because of the rabid, happy-to-purchase fanbase. And the only reason that fanbase exists is because of Joss Whedon. (There are actually t-shirts out there with "Joss Whedon is my master now" printed on them.) Why leave all that money on the table simply to make a shoddy Twilight-lite? Because there's no way those fans would turn out if Whedon wasn't involved -- what's more, they'd actively work to undermine it in every way possible.

Further from The Hollywood Reporter:
"The new "Buffy" film, however, would have no connection to the TV series, nor would it use popular supporting characters like Angel, Willow, Xander or Spike. Vertigo and Kuzui are looking to restart the story line without trampling on the beloved existing universe created by Whedon, putting the parties in a similar situation faced by Paramount, J.J. Abrams and his crew when relaunching "Star Trek."

 

How many ways does this have disaster written all over it?

Comments

[shapinglight]

It's scary, isn't it? At last, something the Bangels and Spuffies will agree on. The end of the world must be coming.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Spuffies and Bangels agreeing? That's got to be a sign of the apocalypse!

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Bangels and Spuffies unite! Embrace the wank.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

On the bright side, it should lower the potentially lethal intensitity of intrafandom flame wars from "Thermonuclear Apocalypse" to just the run-of-the-mill "High Death Rates in Intermittent Skirmishes over Ships and Comics" level.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Very true.

[cindergal.livejournal.com]

Who do they think is actually going to go and see this movie? I've gotta agree, as far as bad ideas go, it's a doozy.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I also rather goggled at the pronouncement in the Hollywood Reporter piece that they wanted the movie to be "darker" than the series.

Darker than Season 6... what exactly would that look like? (Not that I think that these people even bothered to watch ther show)

[sockmonkeyhere.livejournal.com]

Darker than Season 6... what exactly would that look like?

A black screen. With an audio track of tortured screaming.

I think it's a bad, bad idea, too; obviously based on their urge to cash in on the commercial successes of the Twilight movies and the new Star Trek reboot. While I'm not a fan of Whedon (ever since he killed off Fred and torpedoed my Spike/Fred dreams and made me hate the Scoobies whom I once liked a lot), I still want to see the original AtS & BtVS characters on the screen...but not a bunch of brand new characters. I had my fill of that when the hydra-headed "potentials" were shoved down my throat in Season 7. Dropping all of Whedon's characters except for Buffy, and giving her a brand new set of friends and family? I'd bet that the fans of the TV series -- the ones that Vertigo and Kuzui are probably counting on to fill the theaters -- wouldn't show up unless their beloved TV characters and/or actors were in the movie. Fans of Twilight and paranormal romance novel readers might be interested enough to see it, but I think it'll turn the current BtVS/AtS fanbase off.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

"A black screen. With an audio track of tortured screaming."

Not gonna lie - I think I just laughed up a lung reading that :)

[sockmonkeyhere.livejournal.com]

*grin*

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

A black screen. With an audio track of tortured screaming.


I laugh because it's true.

And I truly think that Kuzui is overestimating the robustness of the fandom. Lets face it, the fandom is fractured in the extreme and by the time they've lost the Whedon fanatics, the Spike fans, the Angel fans, the Willow fans, the Xander fans, and the Giles fans... well, Buffy has her fans, but it's also a good thing that the show never had to just depend on her for their ratings.

I'm just sayin'...

[hazel75.livejournal.com]

Well, and Buffy fans are fans of Buffy, the character created on the tv show and portrayed by SMG. Not just the name Buffy.

[rowanswhimsy.livejournal.com]

Good god...I missed that part. Perhaps Buffy can just indiscrimately murder people or something. Or screw the vamps before she stakes them.

[salymander.livejournal.com]

Dude I've been seeing this everywhere. I know everyone's mad, but whenever I see it again, I'm like, LMAO this is going to be SOOOOOOOO stupid and bomb. The ridiculousness is just too much and crack up.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Frankly, I can't imagine this actually getting made (then again, I said the same thing about Serenity so what do I know?).

[salymander.livejournal.com]

yeah srsly

[framefolly.livejournal.com]

Good Lord! What happened to sanity?!

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Seriously. I'd really like someone to ask them what in the hell are they thinking. Obviously, they own rights and all, but clearly they have no clue as to the cranky beast that is the BtVS fandom. If they did, they'd know this isn't going to fly.

[chloris67.livejournal.com]

Wow. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the many levels of badness that are contained in this idea. I find it amusing that the message they took from Star Trek's success was 'slap the same name on it and the fans will watch.' Uh, no.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

It is difficult to wrap your head around all the levels of badness... because they're randomly interspersed with levels of stupid and clueless.

[hobbituk.livejournal.com]

I'm not so fussed about not using Joss - I think he's dropped the ball with the 'verse anyhow. But no original characters, and more importantly no Spike????? Are they mad?

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Frankly, the whole ball of wax sounds like a really bad idea. Some sleeping dogs should be left the hell alone.

[hazel75.livejournal.com]

I'd rather this than have Joss totally torpedo my 'ship in Buffy movie. I can ignore this crap -- a Whedon movie, I couldn't ignore.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've always felt like Joss would kill my ship, and given the crack that the comics are, I just don't think he has anything left to say with these characters. That doesn't make this reboot concept any less inexplicable, though.

[cy-girl.livejournal.com]

Oh, for Pete's sake! This smacks of short-cut, cynical moviemaking. It will be fun to watch this go up in flames.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I'll keep wondering whether they can even get this thing made. It may be like Joss's "Wonder Woman" that's never gonna see the light of day.

[frelling-tralk.livejournal.com]

I feel like the only person who doesn't think this sounds *that* bad. I could live with a reboot with a new slayer and cast (although obviously they would have to get around the ending of Chosen creating multiple slayers).

I don't really object to none of the original cast as I think Joss clung too much to the core scoobies (particularly Giles and Xander) long after he had any stories to tell with them, and that's part of why he started losing interest in the Buffy series in favour of Firefly and his shiny new actors. He's stalled on the tv movie for Spike for so long that I get the impression he would probably be more inspired if he could start off with a fresh concept and new cast. That's if the movie involves Joss of course, I will be skeptical of seeing it if there's none of the Buffy writers involved

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

The only ones involved are the ones who did the original Kristy Swanson movie that Joss hated and which was a critical bomb. According to the Hollywood Reporter article, they aren't using humor, Joss, anyone involved with the TV series, or any of the TV show characters save Buffy (or any characters from the Swanson movie save Buffy) and no continuity with the series (or the previous movie) at all. So, I have to ask... what is the point? Just go buy the rights to Laurel K. Hamilton's books instead.

[sockmonkeyhere.livejournal.com]

So, I have to ask... what is the point? Just go buy the rights to Laurel K. Hamilton's books instead.

But then they'd only be able to show the movie in X-rated theaters. ;D

[kcarolj65.livejournal.com]

*points to icon*

The very idea is untenable. Buffy without Joss? Without any of the Scoobies or either of her two vampire lovers?

*cue eyeroll*

Count me OUT.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Yeah, to think that they can float a Buffy anything without all the other characters is a definite misunderstanding of the BtVS fandom.

[jerrymcl89.livejournal.com]

I could picture a reboot of the series eventually, but not yet. And I really can't see it at all without any of the supporting characters, who apparently these producers don't own the rights to.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

who apparently these producers don't own the rights to.

That's my assumption too.

I could see a reboot... eventually. The universe would be rebootable ala what they've done with Trek.

However, if not using any of the characters, the 'feel' (no humor), with no continuity whatsoever to plot and... what's the point? It's just using the franchise name without the actual franchise.

Part of what made a Star Trek reboot work was that the characters were there, the same except a tiny bit different.

This doesn't even seem an equivalent to the BSG reboot which was a more extreme reboot than Trek.

This just seems like crass exploitation of a franchise they already own rights to.

[tnmisery.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaaaa! REALLY? FLAMES. UP.IN.FLAMES.

The reboot bandwagon already has passengers. Impressive.

Although, the idea of a younger actress playing Buffy and that just grating the hell out of SMG's cheese amuses me. ;)

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Okay. I admit, you've found a bright spot. Bwhahahahaha!

[ceallaigh-hk.livejournal.com]

Wow, talk about a perfect storm of suck.

No Spike + No Angel + No Giles + No Scoobies + No Joss is like the Barbie Dream House that is occupied by Bratz Doll, GI Joe and Cabbage Patch Kid.

So wrong on so many levels.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I know! It's not only that they appear to want suckage, they apparently want layers upon layers of suckage!

[queenofattolia.livejournal.com]

Whedon did Buffy no favors in the end, particularly by handing it over to the Romanian Au Pair [tm cadhla] to run into the ground, so this aversion to him makes total sense to me. He'd probably want to use SMG as well, who is clearly too old for the role now (as is everyone else). I won't see it anyway whether Whedon participates or not, but I can understand why everyone is foaming at the mouth over it. His acolytes are his forever, no matter how bad his product is now.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Well, to be fair, nothing that Kuzui(?) did with the Kristie Swanson movie indicates that they'd do anything but suck either.

Frankly, I see no way around there being massive suckage. I mean, it's a movie with nothing but Buffy... without even a sense of humor. That's just kind of horrifying. (But I still don't see how it can be made. Surely someone at the studio will realize this is an idea made of dumb... then again, Hollywood studio? Maybe not.)

[zanthinegirl.livejournal.com]

I think it's clearly much to soon to do a re-boot, but the wank is fun to watch.

::passes the popcorn::

[rusty_halo.livejournal.com]

I really hope this happens. It would be *hilarious*.