Red Dwarf on Comic Books...
Apr. 15th, 2010 12:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shipperxSnagged from my previous post regarding shipping wars.
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menomegirl asked: So...Helen/Menelaus or Helen/Paris. What say you?
This brought to mind this old Red Dwarf scene (which I won't add anything to, because I don't think anything needs to be added.)
KRYTEN: Ah, Virgil's Aeneid. Oh, the epic tale of Agamemnon's pursuit of Helen of Troy -- the most classic work by the greatest Latin poet who ever put quill to parchment!
LISTER: Yeah. It's the comic book version.
RIMMER gives them a disgusted look.
KRYTEN: (Reading from comic) Zap! Pow! Kersplat! Die in your bed you Trojan pig-dog! Gnyarrg! Kerpow!... I see they've remained faithful to the original text. I'm sure Virgil would have approved.
RIMMER: Kryten, don't discourage him. It's the only thing he's ever read that doesn't have lift-up flaps.
LISTER: I dunno though. This wooden horse of Troy malarkey, I'm not buyin' that... I mean, the Greeks have been camped outside Troy, kerpowing, zapping, and kersplatting the Trojans for the best part of a decade, yeah?
RIMMER: So?
LISTER: So all of a sudden they wake up one mornin' and the Greeks have gone. And there outside the city walls they've left this gift; this tribute to their valiant foes: a huge wooden horse, just large enough to happily contain 500 Greeks in full battle dress and still leave adequate room for toilet facilities. Are you telling me not one Trojan goes, "Hang on a minute, that's a bit of a funny prezzy. What's wrong with a couple hundred pairs of socks and some aftershave?" No, they don't -- they just wheel it in and all decide to go for an early night. People that stupid deserve to be kerpowed, zapped and kersplatted in their beds.
LISTER (CONT'D): You know what the big joke is? From this particular phase in history we derive the phrase, "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts," when it would be much more logical to derive the phrase, "Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads!"
menomegirl asked: So...Helen/Menelaus or Helen/Paris. What say you?This brought to mind this old Red Dwarf scene (which I won't add anything to, because I don't think anything needs to be added.)
KRYTEN: Ah, Virgil's Aeneid. Oh, the epic tale of Agamemnon's pursuit of Helen of Troy -- the most classic work by the greatest Latin poet who ever put quill to parchment!
LISTER: Yeah. It's the comic book version.
RIMMER gives them a disgusted look.
KRYTEN: (Reading from comic) Zap! Pow! Kersplat! Die in your bed you Trojan pig-dog! Gnyarrg! Kerpow!... I see they've remained faithful to the original text. I'm sure Virgil would have approved.
RIMMER: Kryten, don't discourage him. It's the only thing he's ever read that doesn't have lift-up flaps.
LISTER: I dunno though. This wooden horse of Troy malarkey, I'm not buyin' that... I mean, the Greeks have been camped outside Troy, kerpowing, zapping, and kersplatting the Trojans for the best part of a decade, yeah?
RIMMER: So?
LISTER: So all of a sudden they wake up one mornin' and the Greeks have gone. And there outside the city walls they've left this gift; this tribute to their valiant foes: a huge wooden horse, just large enough to happily contain 500 Greeks in full battle dress and still leave adequate room for toilet facilities. Are you telling me not one Trojan goes, "Hang on a minute, that's a bit of a funny prezzy. What's wrong with a couple hundred pairs of socks and some aftershave?" No, they don't -- they just wheel it in and all decide to go for an early night. People that stupid deserve to be kerpowed, zapped and kersplatted in their beds.
LISTER (CONT'D): You know what the big joke is? From this particular phase in history we derive the phrase, "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts," when it would be much more logical to derive the phrase, "Beware of Trojans, they're complete smegheads!"
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