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[shipperx]

Because it's come up in regards to Joss's brainfart crackfic  I thought that I'd link to some of the Sparkle Motion Awesome fandom put out regarding the original (and still cracky) S.Meyer Twilight Series:

cleolinda 's summary of the first book of Twilight, complete with a quote from the actual book that makes clear what level of purple prose to prepare for.

Actual quote from Twilight:

Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I'd been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday's hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

stoney321 has her own excellent sporking of it With pictures!

shinga  has a great quickie summary  if you want the crackficcy rundown in five minutes or less (hilarity ensues)

tkp   does it in comic  format

If it's New Moon you're looking for because of the 'satire' BtVS cover (Um, where's the satire?  Right now it just looks like its ripping it off with name character replace)  here's Cleolinda's summary of New Moon The Book  and New Moon the Movie   (And, yes, if Joss's arc is to copy mock this, his arc is sooooooo gonna suck.) 

Of course the real crack doesn't kick in (not Twangel was a villain but oops now he's not but we don't know exactly how just trust us on this while Spike has a transdimensional space ship and we haven't forgotten that Dawn was a mecha centaur whatever the hell came after that either yo! crack, but crack nonetheless) doesn't really, really kick in until the final book  here and here  (read it and bust a gut laughing.)

And I really wish I could find that fanfic where Edward was this prim old maid knitting and harshing everyone's buzz(which was apparently a chat.  Elisi found the link so read it for the giggles!.  Oh, but there was the one where Harmony bitch slapped Bella around

Comments

[beer-good-foamy.livejournal.com]

Great roundup, and I really can't recommend stoney's sporking highly enough.

If you don't mind the spam, I'd also add that if anyone should feel the need to watch the movies and see the mess for themselves, the guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 have EPIC commentary tracks for both movies at rifftrax.com.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

I'll have to check it out. When the first movie came out on Showtime (I was not going to spend the money to rent it), I completely lost it in a fit of giggles when vampire baseball kicked in. It was hilarious!

[penny-lane-42.livejournal.com]

Mocking Twilight will never get old. I hope that thousands of years from now it will have developed into an Olympic sport or a religion or something and all of our descendants will make Cleolinda a saint/prophet/high priestess.

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[silverusagi]

And I really wish I could find that fanfic where Edward was this prim old maid knitting and harshing everyone's buzz.

That sounds like Growing Up Cullen, which wasn't so much a fanfic as a IM conversation with two people RPing as the characters. Hilarious, though. Edward amuses himself all night with chore charts and and scrapbooking while everyone else in the house is off having sex.

[elisi]

Great minds clearly think alike, I was just about to mention it too!

And for shipperx here's a link to the first part. :) Funniest thing EVER!

(And apparently I can't spell. Sorry.)

[kcarolj65.livejournal.com]

"Incandescent chest?" "Scintillating arms?"

Ack!!!

[shipperx.livejournal.com]

Hee! Awful, isn't it.