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In some tiny little corner of my heart, I should be pleased. . . Shouldn't I? Only I can't quite manage it.

I was laughing my butt off earlier today reading through some duckie stuff as they quacked, "How could Joss DO this to us? We've been shipping B/A for EIGHT YEARS!"

Pfft! Amateurs!!!

Before there was "Angel," before there was "Buffy," before there was "X-Files," there were soaps--little islands of nonsensical plotting that is the television equivalent of cotton candy--all sugar, no substance, hardens easily, and is some unearthly shade of ghastly pink. But still, those of us who grew up on the format grew to have affection for it.

Back to the "EIGHT YEARS!" thing.

Hell, I started shipping Jack&Jen in 1989! (Heh! Probably explains why I was so immune to the Overmentioned_Plot_Device accusations from duckies. I developed a thick skin for those insults well over a decade ago). But, you know, Days destroyed my ship way back in 1993. They brought it back, of course, but it was never the same. The story was always absurd but once upon a time Jack was all dark and tortured with wit and sarcasm masking a bottomless pit of hurt (sound familiar?). When they brought him back he was nothing but a bufoon. Besides, Jen-Jen-of-the-glowing-blonde-hair-and-blinding-white-smile-and-here-let-me-throw-myself-at-any-man-with-a-pulse-because-ALL-men-LOVE-me had lost her appeal as a heroine (sound familiar?). Also, the fact that the woman is older than I am and they still try to play her as some near-virginal ingenue just makes it more annoyoing. Anyway, truth is, while mildly peeved on principle when they murdered Jack last year, it didn't have the impact it would have had....say... in 1993 when I remember crying when I saw the cover of Soap Opera Weekly bearing the news of his (then) firing. (Don't laugh at me. I know it's silly. But I was barely out of my teens and I wuved Jack! J&J were my "twu wuv 4 eva!" OTP! and all that bullshit. :)

So last year they bashed Jack's head in with a brick. He was braindead. Jennifer pulled the plug and his cancer-ridden-already-donated-from-Steve organs were given away to (what I can only assume were VERY unlucky) recipients. But, like that old Sally Field soap spoof Soap Dish, apparently this is just a minor impediment to twu wuv 4 eva because. . . they're baaaaaaacccckkkkkk!

Gakked from... who knows. Anyway, cover of next week's SOD:

According to Dorkday... er... Cordy. This was the story all along. That he simply LIED to the actors when firing them (sure they appreciated the year off, dork! Hope you crapped in your pants when Matt was on OLTL!) and he says "Ken says whatever's happening is not a dream, not a computer game. It's Machiavellian."

To quote the Giant in The Princess Bride... I don't think you know what that word means. Dork, honey, while your actions may be like Machiavelli for the stupid, the SHOW is just incredibly, insanely LAME! Laughably lame. And this story? Calling it lame is an insult to lame things.

Still no word on Matt (Jack), but this pretty much confirms all the rumors so I have to assume that he really is coming back. Poor guy. I mean, I know he has a family to feed, and poor Emma has all those health problems (Emma, his daughter was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer when she was an infant and lost an eye to the disease which is always monitored closely), so I know he can't just give them the finger and say "fuck you!" Not like there are many soaps that film in LA (and there's his refusal to really LEAVE LA). He's 43 and has never been anything but a soap star and the only soaps filming in LA are Days, Passions (which is run by the same insane group of yahoos, GH (which he has already been on before and in a character that didn't really work well), and the Bell and Baby Bell soaps. . .which he just isn't particularly suited for. Plus, for whatever reason, he completely adores Missy Reeves (who plays his on-screen wife Jennifer). I completely understand his returning, but, DUDE! In a silly medium Days has become the most laughably embarrassing soap in existence! (Okay so I'm purposely ignoring Passions). Ugh. . . does this mean I'm actually going to have to subject myself to seeing how they resurrect Jack?

Um.

I'm frightened.

I may actually (gulp) tune in to watch this. Guh.

I suppose with the Whedonverse gone, I need some writers and producers to rag on constantly.

=why-o-why did this have to be true? DULL is the worst soap on earth. . . too bad I was addicted to it in the late 80s=

***********************************************
UPDATE on the STUPIDITY of DULL:
(From scouring some sites) Definitely an Island....And I've been told -- not a dream, but like an "Alias" scenario....One other thing, "the Island" is made up to look like Salem. Don't ask me what this all means. I've only got tidbits

Then people started asking about Alias...........and Gidget responded I think it's more like when Sydney's roomate was replaced by someone who was made to look like her. But I didn't get much details. It will be big and complicated I was told. I'm sorry I don't have time to give long details about Alias but it's a spy show...undercover stuff...blah blah.

I believe the Island stuff comes in on 5/24...but the details were elusive. The actors really don't know how this is going down long term, just what they are playing now.

Date: 2004-05-12 03:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fenchurche.livejournal.com
So, when are we supposed to find out what really happened and why everyone is suddently alive again? I'm very curious to see how lame the explanation will be...

Date: 2004-05-12 03:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shipperx.livejournal.com
Well, you know that the police killed Marlena for killing Alice, right?

Apparently Marlena and Alice are to be revealed on May 21. Pre-emption may push that to May 24. No news on when the others show up or what in the hell is actually going on.

Whedon could actually take advice from Dork on how to keep too many things from slipping out.

Can't imagine what kind of lam-o excuse could cover the fact that they've murdered half the town in very graphic ways.

Oops?

Date: 2004-05-12 03:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fenchurche.livejournal.com
Well, I just checked the Rumor Mill at SoapOperaFan.com (and how funny is it that I don't actually want to watch this stuff, but I still enjoy reading about it?), and some of the latest are saying that it'll turn out the entire serial killer storyline is an I.S.A. undercover operation to bring Stefano out of hiding. Um, yeah. Whatever.

You know, if they'd really planned this all along, it's actually a storyline that could have been somewhat cool... but the way they filmed it? Those guys were d.e.a.d. DEAD. There was no ambiguity, and many of them were shown being killed without witnesses, so what's the point of those who were in on it going through those motions? Tony was even shown having been seriously injured and terrified while he was dying. That was just an act? For who?

That's definitely one area where JW has the advantage... for all you can say about him, he's generally pretty good about leaving things ambiguous and pulling in previously unrelated events to tie into changes in the story.

Date: 2004-05-12 03:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shipperx.livejournal.com
I think they're just looking for the next desperate bit of publicity. They got a ton for killing them. They'll get a ton for bringing them back.

The plot will NOT make sense, of that I can guarentee. I mean, what in the freaking hell were all the post death ghostly visitations?

Sigh. Morbid curiosity gets you every time.

And I don't think you're weird. I haven't watched the show other than the odd ep once every 8 months or so but I've never completely gotten out of the habit of scouring for spoilers and back stage gossip about the thing.

It's a sickness. :)

Date: 2004-05-12 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kellyhk.livejournal.com
y'know...been watching DULL since 1993 when I started med school. Oddly, was immune to the whole soap phenomenon in college, though, and I kid you not remember cruising through our undergrad lounge when some friends were watching All My Kids thinking the brunette teen was a bitchy twat. Little did I know said bitchy teen was SMG. Talk about irony. Oh, and her ears stuck out.

Anyhow, I feel your pain with the whole Days debacle. I still catch the show on days off adn just shake my head at the whole craptastic story arc.

Date: 2004-05-12 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shipperx.livejournal.com
heh. I remembered SMG on AMC, and I remember when she was first cast as Buffy I wondered how in the hell they thought SHE could pull off heroine. I was laying odds that her "heroine" would still end up bitchy. I was actually surprised by how "nice" Buffy was. Little did I know I need only wait a few years. :)

And Days... it's sort of like a car wreck. You know there's nothing you can do to help so you should keep driving and yet you still twist your neck and gawk. :)

Date: 2004-05-12 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ww1614.livejournal.com
Wow. I can't believe they're going through with this. What a mindf*ck.

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